And I Feel Home
by Tina Chaves1
Summary: How far would Rachel go in order to get the family she wants? Ross and Rachel.
1. Chapter 1

And I Feel Home  
  
by Tina  
  
Yesss, this is not a short fic :) Full fic and I think it's gonna be pretty long. Well, it needs a lop of development, so I should think it'll be long! Here's all you need to know for now (though the story itself will tell you these things. But I just wanna place you before so you won't get confused, at first): it's kind of AU, but not too much. Takes place in college, right after the second Thanksgiving Chandler joins the Geller family.  
  
So this is what's going on: Ross and Chandler are roommates in college, Ross is dating Carol, Rachel's dating Pete Carney. Monica's thin, Rachel's nose is smaller and Ross doesn't wear that bad afro and mustage anymore. They just see each other ocasionally, since they all go to different colleges (except for Ross and Chandler, duh). Ross still kinda likes Rachel, but has sort of accepted the fact it's "never" gonna happen. Rachel never thinks about Ross.  
  
So, yeah, basicly the AU part will just happen as the fic moves along! I'm still not sure what I'm gonna do about Phoebe and Joey. Anyway, hope you like it and... reviews are ALWAYS welcome!  
  
P.S. Big thanks to Vero!! Wothout you, this fic wouldn't have come out any time soon, girl :)  
  
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Rachel glanced at her Gucci wirst watch and sighed. She was late. She'd have to come up with a really good excuse, she had a feeling her boyfriend's parents just wouldn't be too amuzed with the fact she showed up 20 minutes late to their dinner party because she was watching "Dirty Darcing" for the millionth time and lost track of time.  
  
With great difficulty, Rachel found a place to park her convertible Mercedes.  
  
'Great, another 5 minutes lost...'  
  
Cursing softly under her breath, she reached the porch in a quick pace and didn't waste any more time before ringing the bell. Even that sound seemed to give away the kind of people she soon would be in the presence of. Within mere seconds, a middle aged man in a black suit opened the door.  
  
"Good evening, Ms. Green"  
  
"Hi, James. Is everybody eating, already?"  
  
There was a tiny trace of hope in her voice, but she well knew the Carney's dinned everynight at the same ponctual time. Why would that night be any different?  
  
"Yes, Miss. May I please take your coat?"  
  
Rachel gave him her coat and purse, all the while thinking how weird it was the fact she never seemed to get any intimacy with James. She'd been a frequent guest to that house for quite a while now, yet everybody still mantained this certain posture that seemed to push her away. Or basicly just make her stand still.  
  
Not one step farther. Nor one step closer.  
  
"Would you follow me into the dining room?"  
  
"Sure..."  
  
Rachel noticed as Katherine, Pete's mother, looked up from her plate right at her and then at the clock that stood on the large dining room wall. Dissatisfaction was clear. Trying hard no to care, Rachel looked for Pete's eyes and found him smiling at her.  
  
"Goodnight, everyone. Sorry I'm late. I- I got held up in traffic"  
  
"That's fine. Come on, sit here"  
  
Pete took her hand and made her sit down on next to him. He leaned closer and kissed her lips softly. Through sacret silence, the sound of their simple kiss echoed and Rachel felt her cheeks burning as she blushed.  
  
'C'mon, Rach, pull yourself together! You're twenty years old already!' she thought to herself.  
  
"Uncle Charlie, you haven't met Rachel yet, have you?"  
  
A tall guy with gray hair politely smiled at her.  
  
"I'm afraid not"  
  
"Her father's a heart surgeon at St. Paul's"  
  
Rachel looked at Katherine and then back at Pete, expecting him to add something to that. She couldn't possibly be fully describled by that simple statement, could she?  
  
"St. Paul, that's a good hospital. Your dad must make good money"  
  
"Yes, they live at Royal Park" Pete's father added, picking his lobster. "Katherine, this thing's a big dry!"  
  
"Leticia!!" she called out to the cook in a bossy tone.  
  
Rachel felt like sticking her head inside a hole, yet the converstion went on, as if nothing was happening.  
  
"Nice. And how did you meet?"  
  
"Rachel takes Psychology at ULI with Pete"  
  
"Actually, hm, I've just changed my major"  
  
Katherine, who had just dismissed a very flustered maid, put her drink down and looked at Rachel. That stare she wore made Rachel shiver.  
  
"Why would you do that, my dear?"  
  
Rachel had claimed to herself the answer to that question was merely the fact there was never a parking space near the Psychology builting. That was, in fact, an important factor. However, she well knew inside that there should be more to life than induring endless classes and torturing hours around people she didn't like.  
  
Looking hard at her boyfriend's mother, she deeply thought about that.  
  
'There must be more to life than just this.'  
  
"Well, it-it just wasn't working. But uh, I've chosen Business Management now and that's working out fine"  
  
Lie.  
  
"That sounds nice"  
  
Nevertheless, Rachel read carelessness in their eyes.  
  
A couple of hours later, they were having drinks at the livingroom. Katherine had offered everyone a nice cup of coffee with delicate French cookies and Swiss chocolate, but Rachel and Pete sticked to alcohol. They were standing by the bar, making their drinks while the rest of them sat around and chatted.  
  
Rachel kept looking at them, she couldn't help it.  
  
How could Pete have grown up in such family? Must've been lonely, he must've needed a lot a love. For a moment, she quite understood why he cried everytime they made love.  
  
Katherine let out a laugh. It made Rachel want to kill herself. So fake, snotty, 'I'm just laughing because I need to be polite to you. That's what makes me a real lady'.  
  
Rachel looked back at Pete and sighed. He was finishing pouring licor at short glasses.  
  
"Here"  
  
"Thanks"  
  
"Dad brought this from German. It should be very good, they-"  
  
Rachel rapidly tilted the glass entirely, dropping all its content into her mouth and in through one quick motion. Pete was eyeing her when she came back and suddenly she just really hoped Katherine had not seen her move.  
  
"Sorry, I'm in a hurry"  
  
Pete chuckled.  
  
"Right. Hey, maybe we could get together some time this week? My exams are ending this wendsday, maybe we could, hm, celebrate?"  
  
So subtle...!  
  
Rachel sighed.  
  
"Sure. Now, hm, I really have to go"  
  
"Okay, I'll walk you out"  
  
Pete immitated her quick move, this time being caught by the corner of his mother's eyes.  
  
"Pete Carney, for heaven's sake! Where are the manners I taught you?"  
  
After a brief - rather too brief! - goodbye, Rachel and Pete were walking up to her car in the cold night.  
  
"Oh, I forgot to tell you, listen, remember my cousin Mary Ann?"  
  
Not great memories...  
  
"Yeah"  
  
"She's throwing a baby shower next week and she told you to come"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Yeah, she's pregnant, remember? Or did you not notice the size of her belly on her wedding?"  
  
Whatever, the whole evening was a blur in Rachel's mind. There was a lot of wine needed to go through that night with reasonable amount of sanity.  
  
"Oh, hm, o-okay. Tell me the details later, now I really have to go."  
  
Rachel got her car keys out of her purse and disabled the alarm.  
  
"Well, goodnight"  
  
Pete pulled her closer quickly and envolved her into a passionate kiss. She moved her hands to his chest and had an urge to pull him away, but resisted the temptation. After a few secons, he pulled away.  
  
"Goodnight" she replied.  
  
She drove away the fastest she could.  
  
-----------------------------------------  
  
The whole house laid in silence when Rachel arrived. It was almost scary, the high ceiling and full curtains seemed to hide demons and dark thoughts invaded her mind. A retreat was soon founded in the kitchen, where a 55 years old large woman sat watching t.v.. Rachel smiled at her.  
  
"Hey Rosa"  
  
"Good night, Rachel, dear. Can I get you anything?"  
  
The woman carried a heavy latin american accent. Rosa had been working for them since Rachel could remember.  
  
"No, no, don't worry. I just want a glass of water" she opened the cabinet and reached for a glass. "I just had dinner at Pete's"  
  
"Trading me for that cook of theirs, aren't you?"  
  
"Don't be silly, Rosa...!" Rachel smiled at her.  
  
"Did you have fun?"  
  
The sincerity and tenderness in Rosa's voice always made Rachel's day.  
  
"It was alright...! His parents are too, hm, stuck up, you know?"  
  
"I know, I've worked for people like that before. Give them time though, you might get used to it"  
  
"But, see, this is the thing, I don't want to get used to this! I don't want to think this is right and all that crap they think. I just..."  
  
"I know."  
  
Rosa's eyes beamed with pride Rachel fully recognised.  
  
"Well, speaking of parents, where are mine?"  
  
"Upstairs, they just came back from that dinner. And I must warn you, things did not sound too good"  
  
Rachel frowned.  
  
"They were fighting again?"  
  
"Yes..."  
  
Rachel sighed.  
  
"What about Jill and Amy?"  
  
"Amy's on a date, Jill's sleeping at Gaby's"  
  
"Well, I guess that's better, then"  
  
But that same moment, Leonard and Sandra Green made themselves be heard. Hostile words were spoken with such power that Rachel's eyes instantly filled up with tears. Rosa looked at her and stroked her hand. Rachel hugged her tight.  
  
After a few seconds, Rachel pulled away and brushed tears from her face.  
  
"I gotta get out of here. I'll be at Monica's, okay? I'll sleep over"  
  
"Okay, I'll tell them."  
  
"Thanks"  
  
Rachel slammed the door after herself.  
  
---------------------------------------------  
  
The engine was off, but for some reason Rachel couldn't bring herself to leave the car just yet. It had been a while since she last spoke to Monica, they were always so busy with their new lives. But after all... she was still her best friend. Monica was the only person Rachel had to turn to that moment. And, more than all, she wanted Monica to be the one to listen to her, to lend her a shoulder for her to cry on.  
  
She knew Monica would never deny that to her.  
  
After one last look at the mirror - yeah, eyes still puffy - Rachel sighed and left the car. Timidly, she approached the door and prayed Monica would be the one to open it.  
  
Ding-Dong.  
  
Sure enough, there was Monica, breathless, wearing sweater pants and a prompt smile. When she noticed the sad look on Rachel's face, however, it turned into a frown.  
  
"Hey, Rach. What happened?"  
  
Rachel hugged her.  
  
"Can I crash in tonight?"  
  
"Always. Come on in"  
  
They broke the hug and went inside. While Monica closed the door, Rachel looked around. The house seemed to be empty.  
  
"Where's everybody?"  
  
"Mom and Dad took Ross and Carol out to dinner. They're visiting for the weekend"  
  
"Oh... Why didn't you join them?"  
  
Monica blushed and looked rather embarassed.  
  
"They were showing 'Dirty Dancing' on t.v..."  
  
Rachel smiled, giddy.  
  
"I know!! I watched that too!"  
  
Monica giggled, happy her best friend not only understood but also shared that with her.  
  
"So, do you wanna tell me what happened?"  
  
Rachel tilted her head.  
  
"It's no big deal, actually, I just had to get out of my house, my parents were fighting...!"  
  
Monica squinted.  
  
"Again?"  
  
"Yeah... So, what are you doing?"  
  
"Just watching some t.v.. We can do something else if you-"  
  
"No, no. T.v.'s fine"  
  
Monica smiled at her and they entered the t.v. room.  
  
"So... Saturday night. Did you and Pete do anything? You're still together, right?"  
  
"Yeah, we're- we're together. Just had dinner with his parents"  
  
"Wow, seven months it's been, huh? They must treat you like their own daughter by now, I bet"  
  
In their case, that was not really a good thing...  
  
"Yeah, I guess. So, what about you?"  
  
Monica sighed, sitting in a shy kind of way. Rachel often caught Monica acting as if she still had a lot of weight to carry, the way she moved and stood still much like her old self. It was endearing, actually. Gave her a little taste of the past.  
  
"Well, other than Patrick Swayze I can't say much about boys...!"  
  
Rachel chuckled, brushing away her last tear.  
  
"Guys don't know what they're missing!"  
  
Monica smiled at Rachel.  
  
"...but the chicken was lovely!"  
  
"That was not a chicken, Judy!"  
  
"Oh, Jack, would you please just-"  
  
"Monica! We're home!"  
  
"In the t.v. room!"  
  
Monica's parents Jack and Judy Geller entered with their older son Ross and a blonde girl Rachel assumed to be his girlfriend, Carol.  
  
"Oh, Rachel, dear, how are you?"  
  
"Good, I'm good" she smiled brightly with admiration at Judy Geller.  
  
"Have you been crying?"  
  
"Jack!"  
  
"What? I'm just asking!"  
  
Rachel chuckled.  
  
"Monica just told me a joke, I couldn't stop laughing, that's all! Plus, we've jus watched this realy sad movie!"  
  
"Of course you have!"  
  
Judy stroked her hair.  
  
"Is it okay for Rachel to sleep over tonight, mom?" Monica asked.  
  
"There's no need to ask, Monica! Of course you can, Rachel"  
  
"Thank you"  
  
"Carol, is that okay? You can sleep in the guestroom if you want, Rachel snores!"  
  
"I don't snore!"  
  
"Oh, please, you so do!"  
  
"You're the one to talk!"  
  
"Sorry, Monica, but you do snore a little..."  
  
Monica looked back at Carol with disbelief.  
  
"Now you two are gonna gang up on me?"  
  
Rachel smiled so brightly. That was the sort of family she wanted.  
  
Ross chuckled and wrapped an arm around Carol's waist.  
  
"Way to go, sweetie."  
  
Rachel watched as Judy turned her glance to her son and his girlfriend and smiled. It was no secret Ross was the dearest one in the family and it seemed like his girlfriend too was becoming a huge center of atentions in the house.  
  
"Would you just look at those two sweet love birds...!"  
  
"Oh, mom..."  
  
Ross blushed.  
  
"Carol, dear, I'm going shopping at the city tomorrow, if you feel like coming with me..."  
  
Carol smiled.  
  
"I would like that!"  
  
Judy leaned closer and hugged Carol tenderly.  
  
Rachel watched and sighed.  
  
'That's what I want!'  
  
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End of first chapter, yeah :) Guess you can see where this is leading up to, huh? Hmmm, we'll see! ;) Reviews, please? Make my day? ;) 


	2. Chapter 2

And I Feel Home  
  
by Tina  
  
Hey guys! Thanks for the great reviews! :) But I'll leave the chit-chatting for the end, now on with the story!  
  
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"...I mean, he's really sweet and all..."  
  
"Just want to remind you details are not necessary. I mean, he is my brother, after all"  
  
Soft laughter.  
  
"Don't worry, I won't get to that..."  
  
"Good! I'm really happy for you guys, though...! And I just wanna say... I know this will sound weird and all, me being his little sister, but uh... Take good care of him, Carol. He's a good guy and he's been through too much already"  
  
"Yeah, I know Ross is a very special guy. Believe me, I really like him a lot"  
  
The faint voices were like whispers taking Rachel by the hand and carrying her out of her peaceful slumber. She stirred.  
  
"I'm really glad to hear that." Brief silence. "You know what, we better go talk outside, Rachel's still sleeping"  
  
"Oh, okay"  
  
Rachel softly opened her eyes and lazily started stretching.  
  
"No, no, I'm up, don't worry" her words were almost inaudible.  
  
Monica flashed her a smile and Rachel couldn't help but smile back. There was nothing like waking up to a beautiful smile from a dear friend.  
  
"Goodmorning"  
  
"Morning, Mon"  
  
"Goodmorning, Rachel"  
  
Rachel looked at Carol.  
  
"Goodmorning"  
  
Just then she realised how beautiful Carol really was. Despite the messy blonde hair, the pajamas and the morning eyes, Carol was stunning. Huh, or maybe specially because of those things! Rachel laid in bed and just looked at the girls. They were sisters in law...! Okay, so maybe not just yet, but still.  
  
There was a soft knock at the door.  
  
"Come in" Monica announced just before Ross carefully popped his head inside.  
  
"Everyone decent?"  
  
Carol smiled.  
  
"Goodmorning, sweetie"  
  
"Goodmorning"  
  
Ross entered and went straight to Carol's matress, on the floor. Rachel watched as they kissed and kept their arms around each other. Tenderly, he brushed her hair from one of her shoulders and planted a trail of soft kisses up her neck.  
  
"Ross, cut it out, gross! I don't need to watch that in my own room"  
  
Ross chuckled, embarassed.  
  
"Sorry"  
  
"So, anyway, Rach... Wanna do something today?"  
  
"I don't know, I need to go home first. I think today's not a good day, really. But we can see each other during the week or something"  
  
"I'm going on a field trip, actually..."  
  
"Oh. So, next weekend?"  
  
"Okay! Oh, we're gonna have this little event at this Hotel at the city next saturday, you should totally come! We're gonna be cooking, so you can bring someone if you'd like. My parents will be there, so if yours want to tag along...!"  
  
"Sure, I'll tell them about that"  
  
"Oh, Mon, about that..." Carol began "I won't be able to make it, sorry"  
  
"Aw, why not?" the Gellers asked in choir.  
  
"It's my cousin's birthday party in Rhode Island and she insisted for me to come. I haven't seen her in a while, so..."  
  
"Oww" Ross kissed her cheek "You'll be missed"  
  
Carol smiled at him.  
  
"Can't you come with me?"  
  
"Oh, no, Ma'am! He'll be coming to my thing, sorry! I need to bring a lot of guests!"  
  
Carol laughed.  
  
"Okay, okay, sorry, Mon"  
  
"Yeah, but if I forget it for some reason and end up being stuck, at, I don't know, Rhode Island, don't blame me!"  
  
Monica shot him a look.  
  
"You wouldn't dare!"  
  
Rachel laid her cheek on her pillow and watched. They laughed and smiled. They looked so happy.  
  
---------------------------------------  
  
Rachel's house was much different than in the previous night. As she opened the front door, she could already hear everybody's presence. The t.v. room door was half open and she could see Jill in there with a friend. Amy passed by holding the telephone, giggling.  
  
"I know, what was she thinking??"  
  
Rachel rolled her eyes trying to make out what that was about. Ah, whatever. She closed the door.  
  
"Mom??"  
  
Her mother came down the stairs. She was all dressed up, heavy make up on and unsucessfully trying to fasten her bracelet.  
  
"Oh, hi, sweetie"  
  
"Where are you going?"  
  
"Beatrice and Paul's 25th anniversary. Can you please help me with this?"  
  
Rachel approached and handled the bracelet, all the while feeling her mother's eyes straight at her.  
  
"Done"  
  
"Thank you"  
  
Sandra Green ran her fingers down her daughter's hair and then tucked some of it behind her ear.  
  
"Did you sleep over at Monica's?"  
  
"Yes"  
  
"That's good that you're hanging out together again." Rachel smiled back at her mother. "So, what are you doing today?"  
  
Rachel looked down, her plans of spending time with her family slipping down the drain.  
  
"I don't know... I guess I'll go back there, I'll just take a shower and change"  
  
That moment, Leonard Green, Rachel's father, came down, also ready to go.  
  
"Pumpking!"  
  
"Hi, daddy"  
  
He kissed her hair.  
  
"Where were you?"  
  
"At Monica's"  
  
"We better get going now, Sandra" Rachel watched her parents interact as if nothing at all had happened the night before. It was a routine they had mastered over the previous few years. "We'll see you girls later"  
  
Amy and Jill contented themselves to simply wave goodbye, not even bothering to look at their father. After warm hugs, Rachel released them and sighed.  
  
'Alright, slight change of plans...'  
  
----------------------------------------  
  
"Hey, Rach, could you hand me those tomatoes?"  
  
"Sure"  
  
Rachel handed her a plate full of chopped tomatoes and looked down into the pot, unsure.  
  
"Mon, are you sure about this?"  
  
"Calm down, of course I am! We made this last week and it was fine!"  
  
"I'm hungry!"  
  
Monica laughed at Rachel's lack of patience.  
  
"I'd check the fridge for a snack if I were you, this is gonna take a while!"  
  
Rachel groaned and approached the fridge.  
  
"This better be worth it, you know?"  
  
She was analysing all the itens they had in storage when Ross entered, seduced by the scent emerging from the kitchen.  
  
"What are you doing?"  
  
"Just this chicken we learned how to cook last week"  
  
"How much time till it's done?"  
  
Monica rolled her eyes.  
  
"Not anytime soon!"  
  
"I'm hungry!" Ross whined.  
  
"Damn, not you too!"  
  
"Can I open this pack of Cheetos?" Rachel asked, exiting the food storage room with a bag in her hands.  
  
"Sure! Can I get some of that, actually?" Ross approached.  
  
"Oh, ok"  
  
Rachel tore it open and got a handful out of it, handing the rest to Ross. She sat down on the kitchen table and watched Monica.  
  
"Don't you guys learn how to make superquick and fancy snacks?"  
  
"Okay, one more word and I don't let you eat at all!"  
  
Ross and Rachel laughed.  
  
"Hey, Mon, does speed count in your practical exams? I guess it should, considering it's an important factor in a restaurant...! But then again I guess that would fail a lot of people, huh?"  
  
Monica turned around to shoot her brother a look and found Rachel covering her mouth to prevent hersef from laughing out loud.  
  
"Fine, gang up on me! You don't get to eat my chicken now!"  
  
"Aw, Mon, we're sorry! We didn't mean that, we do want to eat you chicken!" Rachel approached Monica and stroked her arms. "I mean, I guess we'll be hungry again in a couple of hours!"  
  
Ross burst into laughter again and Rachel smiled at Monica, who didn't look too amused.  
  
"Will I have to kick you two out of my kitchen?"  
  
Judy and Carol walked in to hear Monica's last two words.  
  
"Your kitchen?" Judy questioned.  
  
"Hey, mom. How did the shopping go?" Monica quickly shot back.  
  
Judy opened a smile and carried her multiple bags onto the table. Rachel read Bloomingdale's, Barney's and Macy's on them.  
  
"It was great! Anything looks good in that girl!"  
  
"That girl" was already in Ross' arms, Rachel noticed. She was wearing a wide smile and her cheeks were turning pink.  
  
"Thanks, Mrs. Geller"  
  
"It's Judy, dear"  
  
Her smile grew even more.  
  
"Thanks, Judy"  
  
Rachel stuck her hand inside the Cheeto bag again and Judy approached her.  
  
"Junk food before dinner?"  
  
Rachel blushed.  
  
"Monica's taking forever to make that!"  
  
Judy stroked Rachel's hair and smiled at her.  
  
"In that case, I baked a cake yesterday. Would you like a piece of that too, Rachel, dear?"  
  
Rachel smiled.  
  
"Okay!"  
  
She watched as Judy Geller picked up a plate, a fork, a knife and a beautiful chocolate cake. There was something so big in that simple gesture of hers. Something so magical radiated from that woman, so powerful that made Rachel smile each passing second more. It almost screamed "perfect mom". "Love me, hug me, take me home".  
  
After the plate was settled in front of Rachel, she paid Judy with a kiss on her cheek.  
  
"Does any one else want some?"  
  
Rachel tasted it. Not too sweet, just perfect.  
  
"C'mon, no one?"  
  
"I'm fine, mom"  
  
"Carol?"  
  
---------------------------------  
  
Yeah, ok :) See... I have this all planned out, sort of. Right now I'm writing very mechanically, so I'm not sure I'm passing the right message. Or, if so, if I'm doing it right. But, anyway...! I've spent the last few days sort of obsessing with this fic. All I have to say right now is that I don't want that to happen anymore. I'm just doing this to kill off some time, seriously. Anyway, whatever! I'm probably not making much sense, I'm weird like that :) Just wanna ask those reviews to keep coming! And yes, this IS a R&R fic. Just hold on, I will get there! :) 


	3. Chapter 3

And I Feel Home  
  
by Tina  
  
I'm really-really-really aprehensive about this fic... But I guess it could turn into something interesting, so if you guys bear with me, I promise it will look up! I just can't skip this introduction, really, so just follow me :) Thanks!  
  
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"Was it good for you?"  
  
Rachel glanced at Pete-the-weeper - weeping indeed! - and pulled the sheets up closer to her body. Her frustration was rising. Not just sexual, but emotional too. Watching Pete's family and the way he acted with her, sometimes it was so clear how she was simply a way of retreat for him. Just... not in a good way. She felt used.  
  
He was lonely, he needed love. And he seemed to discharge it all on her. Sometimes she'd pat him on the head and say it was okay. Sometimes it was endearing the way he cried when they had sex. But she knew that's all it really was. Sex. Never love. They had not reached that level when they could say they were leaning on each other because they wanted to. It was merely because they needed.  
  
Anyone would do it, she thought. 'Doesn't matter if it's me or anybody else'. As long as he has someone to fuck once in a while and make him feel a little better about himself, he'd keep his feelings concealled.  
  
Anyone at all.  
  
Nevertheless, Rachel gave him a weak smile. She didn't bother to look much enthusiastic, by now she knew that it wasn't going to matter to the situation. Would he care about the fact she never really reached climax with him? Would it really change anything? Their intimate times, after all, were never about that.  
  
Never about her sexual needs. And never really about his either.  
  
"Yes, it was"  
  
He whiped tears from his face and turned to face her.  
  
"So... How have you been?"  
  
Yeah, sex first, then talk. Rachel sighed.  
  
"Long...!"  
  
"Plans for the weekend?"  
  
"Oh, yeah, actually, I got this thing on saturday to go to. Monica's going to be cooking in this hotel, I don't know, I didn't get it well, but I'm supposed to go"  
  
"This saturday?"  
  
"Yeah"  
  
"What about Mary Ann's baby shower?"  
  
"That's this saturday?"  
  
"Yes, I told you!"  
  
"No, Pete, you were supposed to call me about that!"  
  
"Well, whatever, Rach!"  
  
Rachel eyed him, her temper rising.  
  
"Sorry, no can do. I promised Monica!"  
  
"Can't you call her and explain it?"  
  
"No!"  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Because she's my best friend, ok? I'm not missing this, it's very important to her!"  
  
"It's just a silly dinner!"  
  
"And it's just a silly baby shower. I'm not going to this thing, Pete, quit it!"  
  
"Rachel, you HAVE to, ok? You're my girlfriend!"  
  
"So what?"  
  
"So people except you to be there!"  
  
Rachel sighed and sat up on the bed. She was sick of people expecting her to do this and that...! Social events like that sucked. The polite smiles, fake laughter, it was all too much to take at the moment. She was not going to let someone as important to her as Monica down for that.  
  
"Well, I don't care, Pete" she reached for her bra and panties and put them on, standing up when she was done. "I promised Monica"  
  
"You promised me!"  
  
Rachel shot him a look.  
  
"I don't care! This means a lot to her and I'm not gonna let her down simply because you have other things for me to do! I don't even like Mary Ann, Pete!"  
  
"Why not?!"  
  
"I don't even know her, for one! I'm just gonna be there to represent you and damn it, we've only been going out for a few months, this is ridiculous!" she found her dress and slipped it on.  
  
"Okay, okay, that's fine, Rachel. Then can I join you on this thing?"  
  
Rachel looked at him and sighed. No, no... He would ruin everything.  
  
"I would rather if you didn't"  
  
"What?! Why?"  
  
"Just because. You don't know them!"  
  
"Would be a nice chance for that to happen, don't you think?"  
  
"Pete..."  
  
"Rachel, I'm your boyfriend! It's my obligation!"  
  
"It is not. I CAN go out by myself, you know?"  
  
"Well, you shouldn't!"  
  
Her temper was sent skyrocketting once again.  
  
"Pete, for the last time, I don't need someone on my side 24/7, ok? If you're gonna do this, we better end this now! I'm 20 years old and we're not married!"  
  
"But Rachel, my mother-"  
  
Rachel sighed so loud that it cut him.  
  
"Okay, I can't take this anymore, that's it. I'll talk to you later and I hope you tell your mommy about this. I hope she can come up with a good solution for us!"  
  
She finished grabbing her stuff and left.  
  
-------------------------------------------------  
  
It was not untill she had parked her car in her own garage spot that Rachel stopped to finally look into a mirror. Her make up was blurred, her hair was a mess. She tried to look the best she could before entering her house, drawing atention to her appearance was the last thing she needed.  
  
When she entered the kitchen, she faced a scene she'd never seen in her wildest dream. Her mother was staring into a cooking book, wearing oven mints and standing right next to a pot. Heavy smoke was coming out of it and the smell was undoubtfully one of cabonised... anything.  
  
"Mom, what are you doing?"  
  
Sandra Green looked up at Rachel. She looked composed, or at least trying to remain that way. But Rachel knew better. She was desperate.  
  
"What does it look like I'm doing, honey?"  
  
"Okay, er... Why are you cooking?"  
  
"Do you by any chance happen to know how to make a casserole?"  
  
"Are you kidding me?" Rachel shrugged and approached the stove, turning it down. "Mom, what happened?"  
  
Sandra looked at Rachel and sighed. Rachel's heart started beating like mad.  
  
"Sweetie, I know you'll be upset and I wish I could say I'm sorry, but..."  
  
"What?"  
  
"It's Rosa."  
  
"What about her?"  
  
"We had to let her go"  
  
"What, why??"  
  
"Rachel, come on, you were the one complaining to me about things that have gone missing..."  
  
"What?! MOM!! I was telling you because Jill and Amy were stealing my stuff!! Not Rosa, come on!"  
  
"Oh, Rachel, why would your sisters do that?"  
  
"Why would Rosa do that?"  
  
"Rachel, don't be naive!"  
  
"You're the one to talk! Jill and Amy have always taken my stuff and you know Rosa would never steal from us! I cannot believe you did that!"  
  
"Oh, enough with the drama, Rachel. Now would you help me out with dinner? Your father will be right home and I'll hear till no end if we don't have something to set in that table!"  
  
"No!" Rachel stepped back, disgusted.  
  
"We'll get a new maid soon, I don't see why you're making such a big deal out of this"  
  
"Mother, she is a person, you know? Do you have any idea how much you must've insulted her with this? Call her now, say you'll give her her job back!"  
  
"Okay, Rachel, this has gone too far. If you don't want to help me, fine. But don't get on the way either. Of course I won't call her back, what are you taking me for?"  
  
Rachel sighed and shook her head.  
  
"I cannot believe you...!"  
  
She turned around and left the kitchen.  
  
--------------------------------------------  
  
Rachel felt so alone. So small and unprotected. She colapsed onto her bed and stared at the three picture frames she kept on her nightstand. Three families. So different from one another.  
  
First, she fixated on the Greens. Their presense in the picture was so strong. Yet... she knew they were all anywhere but there. They were never there, even when they were. Their minds always too far, despite the sweet words and suposebly tender gestures. Rachel knew her parents loved her, but it was just not enough. There was more to love then pet names and expensive gifts.  
  
The Carney's, hidden behind the heavy jewelry and expensive looks. Rachel wondered if there was any sentiment at all that linked them together. Sometimes they didn't bother to desguise just how shallow they were. Rachel herself had already witnessed many conversations when Catherine Carney actually confessed she just married Pete's father for the money. Poor Pete, no atention at all. Rachel couldn't imagine just how lonely he really must've been.  
  
And finally, the Gellers. Not hiding behind anything but their true smiles.  
  
Rachel picked that picture frame up and smiled.  
  
She had grown up with them, she somehow felt like a part of the family, already. Judy was so sweet and caring. Though she annoyed Monica with little things that Rachel had to admit that would be hard to take, she knew better. She was just over concerned. Her love was strong and she was a role model for all mothers out there.  
  
Jack was so sweet and such a simple guy. Rachel wondered how things would be like if her own father was like that. Easily satisfied, happy with the small things. Rachel constantly found hereself giggling at the satisfaction in Monica's father's face everytime a simple comercial he liked came up on t.v.. And he was so honest and right.  
  
Monica was like a sister to her, already. She couldn't believe how much she loved her best friend, sometimes. Monica was so sweet and down to Earth. She knew what the important things in life were, she had clearily inherited that from her parents. The best things in life weren't up for sale. You could never buy a smile that would carry you up to cloud number nine.  
  
Rachel scanned the picture again and finally noticed Ross. She rarely paid atention to his figure on that right botton corner. 'Should ask Mon for a new picture', Rachel thought. Not only Monica was still many pounds heavier in it, but Ross also looked way too different. He still carried that awful mustage and bad perm from his college freshmen year.  
  
She remembered her past few enconters with him and how different he looked. 'Not bad'. Ross was a sweet quiet guy and Rachel had always known about his crush on her since he was 15. She wondered if he still felt the same after so many years. 'Ah, he's with Carol now...'  
  
But then she glued her eyes back on the picture and wondered.  
  
'Since when does that really mean anything?'  
  
Guilt and excitment mixed and almost exploded inside of her.  
  
'What if...'  
  
--------------------------------------  
  
Yeah, guess next chapter will be much more interesting :) Don't have much to say right now, just want some reviews to understand how you guys are taking this, please! Mwah, thanks for reading! 


	4. Chapter 4

And I Feel Home  
  
by Tina  
  
---------------------------------------  
  
"Where are you going?" Sandra Green looked away from the t.v..  
  
"Out"  
  
"Out where?"  
  
"None of your business"  
  
Leonard Green finally looked up from the newspaper.  
  
"Rachel Karen Green, is that a way to speak to your mother?"  
  
Rachel ignored his hard words, picking up her car keys and approaching the main door.  
  
"Rachel, where are you going?" Rachel's mother's tone was firm.  
  
"Aparently we don't need explanations in this house." She raised her eyebrows, cocky "Don' wait up!"  
  
Her father's expressioned turned to a scary one, which almost made Rachel imediately freeze and apologise. But, instead, she held her peace and sighed.  
  
"I'll be with the Gellers"  
  
Rachel remembered the way she left so abruptedly after that and wondered if she should expect a new lock on the door when she finally returned home that saturday. 'Nah, they're probably over it by now', she concluded as she remembered much worse arguments she'd had with them in the past. Or any other night Amy had a fit about how controlling they were, despite the fact she never even seemed to listen to their parents.  
  
After handing the keys to Valet parking, Rachel entered the Hotel. Not too big, not too small. Right at the lobby there was a sigh concerning Monica's cooking event, so she proceded to the restaurant. At the door, her ticket was asked and she was told where she was meant to be seated. Following the instructions, she easily found a round table with four seats, three of which had already been taken.  
  
"Oh, Rachel" Judy greeted her "sweetie, you look lovely!"  
  
Rachel smiled and they shared a brief hug.  
  
"Goodnight Judy"  
  
"Our little Harmonica will be so glad you could make it!" Jack Geller also hugged her. "It's not like she has any other friends to be here for her, you know?"  
  
"Dad...!"  
  
Rachel turned and faced Ross.  
  
"What? I'm just saying!"  
  
"Hey"  
  
"Goodnight, Rachel"  
  
Unsure about how they should greet each other, they awkwardly shook hands. Rachel sat down.  
  
"So... when does this start?"  
  
"It's scheduled to begin in like ten minutes, but I've just been told they've decided to call in some students from music school too, so they might delay that for a little dancing"  
  
"Oh"  
  
"I could use the warm up before dinner! I've had nothig to eat all day, I'm sure gonna make up for that tonight!"  
  
"Jack!"  
  
"It's a free dinner! And I'm telling you, after all we're paying for Monica's education, a little left over from her classes is the least we should get!"  
  
Judy shot him a deadly look across the table Rachel spotted imediately. However, all Rachel could do was smile. Jack was such a funny man.  
  
"Oh, here it is"  
  
They turned and looked at a band set on a little stage, beginning to play a lovely song.  
  
"That's nice" Judy commented.  
  
They noticed as couples started rising and approaching the dance floor.  
  
"Judy, would you give me the honor?" Jack asked, getting up and picking up her hand.  
  
"Well, of course"  
  
With smile on their faces, they left. Rachel watched, wishing her parents could ever be so sweet to each other like that. She breathed loud and clear before she realised she was alone with Ross. She turned to look at him and thought he looked rather uncomfortable. His eyes were travelling around the room, uncertain about where to land still. He was biting his lower lip and she could notice his leg was shaking like mad under the table cloth.  
  
It made her smile.  
  
"So, Ross... How's hm, how's college going?"  
  
"Good. Just good, very good. Hm, yours?"  
  
"Fine"  
  
She noticed the leg shaking stopped and he kept looking at her.  
  
"No more changing majors?"  
  
"Guess not. As long as I have my parking space, we're fine", she joked and he smiled.  
  
"Right... That uh, that's nice then"  
  
He had nice eyes.  
  
"Yeah, yes, it is"  
  
Nice lips too. 'Wonder if they're as soft as they look'  
  
"How's your roomate? Hm, Chester, is it?"  
  
"Chandler, actually. He's fine."  
  
"Still hating Thanksgiving?"  
  
"Pretty much"  
  
Rachel quickly looked at Jack and Judy sliding across the dance floor and smiled.  
  
"Do you wanna dance?"  
  
Ross looked speechless.  
  
"Hm, sure"  
  
They stood up and approached the dance floor. He uncertainly laid his hands on her waist, while she rested hers on his back, getting a lot closer than he expected. A part of Ross was telling him 'whoa, if this had happened about a few years ago you sure would be going crazy right about now my man, huh? Thank God we're over her!' while another, the major part, just laughed and replied 'who do you think you're kidding? Still, just don't get too excited'.  
  
She leaned close and rested her cheek on his chest. She could see Judy and Jack perfectly from where they were dancing. He spun her around and Judy laughed. But soon a waiter passed by and Jack let go of her to pursue some food. Rachel chuckled and closed her eyes.  
  
Hmmm, Ross smelled good.  
  
'You know...' a little voice inside of her spoke seductively, not for the first time on the past few days 'if you two were to be together, you'd be like family. Truly'  
  
She felt herself tighten her grasp on him. She never thought she'd actually go on board with that crazy idea of hers, but now...  
  
She looked up at him.  
  
It just didn't seem like such a bad idea.  
  
He looked down at her and they shared a look. She unwrapped one of her arms from around him and played with her hair. He had to know about the flirting hair thing, right?  
  
But then again, it was Ross. Maybe being a tad subtle wasn't going to help, here.  
  
Before she had the change to figure out another move, she saw his gaze shifting from her.  
  
"Hm, mom and dad are calling us" he snapped her out of it.  
  
-------------------------  
  
"Rachel, hi, you came!!"  
  
Monica dropped the plates she was holding on the table and hugged her best friend.  
  
"Of course I did, I promised"  
  
"You look great!"  
  
Rachel smiled at her.  
  
"I like your hat!"  
  
Monica touched her chef hat and smiled.  
  
"Anyway, I gotta get going, but I'll be back soon with the main corse! Bon apetit!"  
  
"Thanks!"  
  
And so Monica came and went many times, bringing food back and forth. Rachel was getting stuffed quickly, but didn't mind. The food was delicious and the company was pleasant. Looks were shared with Ross here and there and she had to admit he looked rather confused. It wasn't untill after the desert was served they had a chance to talk.  
  
"Well, that's it, I feel like I've eaten an entire horse by myself!"  
  
Jack threw his napkin across the table. Rachel looked at Judy, but she too looked too stuffed herself and tired to scold him.  
  
"Feel like burning some of that on the dance floor?" Jack smiled at Judy.  
  
"Well, okay"  
  
Once again they excused themselves and left. Rachel looked down at her desert and had the last spoon full of it.  
  
"Don't tell anyone, but I too feel like I've eaten an entire horse by myself!"  
  
Ross looked at her and laughed.  
  
"Yeah, this was great" he commented.  
  
"Hm, should we dance again?"  
  
"Oh, of course, let's" Ross was kicking himself for not asking her. Again.  
  
They repositioned themselves like they were dancing before, but it didn't take long before Rachel got bolder.  
  
"Don't you ever miss High School, Ross?"  
  
He looked at her and pondered. He had to admit he enjoyed seeing her everyday, even though pretty much everything else about High School sucked.  
  
"A little. What about you?"  
  
"Yeah, me too"  
  
"I can imagine" he chuckled.  
  
She ignored his remark, not even considering what it meant.  
  
"Don't you ever... miss me?"  
  
Ross stopped dancing. Rachel followed. They were standing for about a couple of seconds so he could get his thoughts together.  
  
"If I ever miss you?"  
  
"Yes"  
  
"Like" he nervously chuckled "like how?"  
  
"Like do you miss seeing me everyday?"  
  
She could feel his body tensed up, dancing like a hard stone block.  
  
"Hm, yeah, I- I think I do"  
  
"You think you do?" she broke their "hug" and smiled at him, flirting shamelessly "What do you mean you think you miss me? I'm very disapointed, Ross Geller"  
  
She was a little relieved to see a geekish smile curling up at the right corner of his lips. Though she trusted her shots, specially with such an easy target like Ross Geller, things were not going how they usually went. She always got the guy she wanted to kiss her after the second line.  
  
"Well, okay, I guess you could say that's what I miss the most..."  
  
He was blushing, but still continued dancing in silence. Rachel was confused. Wasn't he supposed to play back and make an actual move? Get bolder?  
  
Or did he just think they were flirting for the sake of it?  
  
She brought her hands to his shoulders and caressed the back of his head, getting a serious look on her face. He did nothing but stare back at her with big brown eyes. She leaned closed and rested her forehead on his, closing her eyes.  
  
"Hmmmmm" she softly let it scape from her lips, half parting them when she was done.  
  
"What are you doing?"  
  
She opened her eyes and found him standing a few feet away from her. 'What the fuck? What are YOU doing?' she wanted to shout back. She held it in, frustrated. Didn't he know anything about those things??  
  
"I'm flirting, Ross! Don't know what that is?" she was getting irritated.  
  
"F-Flirting?"  
  
"Yes! It's what you do when you like someone!"  
  
His eyes were big with surprise. 'Damn, visibly not as easy as I thought. Wonder if it'll even be worth it'  
  
"Rachel, you- you know I'm dating Carol."  
  
Rachel's heart sank. 'What?!' She was certainly never expecting that. She had never been let down. Well, except once for that bitch Nancy Brenson. But still, it was Chip! Not-not... Ross Geller!  
  
"Right. Okay, hm, sorry, I-"  
  
She started walking away, but felt a soft hand stop her.  
  
"No, wait, Rachel" she turned around and faced him again. "Hm, are you serious? About, well, liking me?"  
  
"Yes"  
  
"So you wanna like... be with me?"  
  
She nodded.  
  
"Wow."  
  
She sighed.  
  
"But that's fine, if you've got Carol, I-"  
  
"No, wait!" she stopped talking and looked at him. "I- I'll talk to her! Tomorrow!"  
  
His voice was getting excited and what Rachel could only describle as giddy.  
  
"Okay" she smiled at him.  
  
He kept looking a her, uncertain.  
  
'Okay, let's get this over with', she thought to herself.  
  
She approached him again and took his face on her hands. He smiled the biggest smile she'd ever seen before they sealed their lips together. Though he seemed reprehensive at first, she started feeling some more action from his part after a while. She felt him moving his hands to her waist, where they laid respectfully, while his lips brushed against hers... quite... nicely, she had to admit.  
  
They parted. He was wearing a wide smile and she sighed in satisfaction. He took her hand, uncertain and so sweet, and kissed it tenderly.  
  
"I just can't believe this..."  
  
"I know"  
  
-------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Yes, it's immature. It's supposed to be, really. I'll develop everything with time, don't worry, it won't be shallow like this. I just felt like I couldn't do it now, I like this feeling of superficiality right now. But trust me, I wanna work Rachel's feelings better. What she's feeling for him, what it will grow into, how she feels about everybody else and how she sees the world. Anyway... drop me a review, pretty please? ;) Bet things are starting to get more interesting for you now, huh? 


	5. Chapter 5

And I Feel Home  
  
by Tina  
  
----------------------  
  
This chapter is rated R for sexual content, so beware!  
  
----------------------  
  
The new sparkle Rachel could spot on Ross' eyes were magical. He tugged to her hand like it was about to break and his voice got a new entonation. It was sweet and smooth. They had not been together for five minutes now and she was already enchanted. For someone who loved being spoiled like she did, Rachel concluded she could take this any day of the week, gladly.  
  
He kissed her hand for the 5th time in those 5 minutes and she noticed he must've been nervous.  
  
"You okay?" she asked.  
  
"Yeah, great" he smiled at her to ensure her she was the reason he was so happy. But then he shifted his glance. Hers followed. He was looking at his parents, looking almost scared of being caught sharing such a tender gesture with Rachel.  
  
"What's wrong?" she insisted.  
  
"I just..." he let her hand go. "Could we not tell them about this right now?"  
  
Ah- WHAT?  
  
Rachel stared back at him.  
  
"What?! Why?"  
  
"I Just..." he looked at them and back at Rachel, nervously. "I want to break up with Carol first. Before we can start telling people..."  
  
"Oh"  
  
"I'm sorry. I mean, you can imagine just about how much I want everybody to know that I am dating Rachel Green, right?"  
  
She couldn't help but smile.  
  
"...but... it's not fair to Carol. I can't cheat on her like that. But I'm breaking up with her tomorrow, I swear! We can postpone telling them on a day, right?"  
  
"I guess." she sighed. "I just really wanted them to know"  
  
"I know. They're gonna be so happy."  
  
Rachel smiled.  
  
"You think?"  
  
"Are you kidding me? My parents adore you. They've probably always wished you were their child instead of Monica!" he chuckled "Although I must admit that thought never was appealing to me"  
  
Her smile grew.  
  
"Really?"  
  
Assuming erroniously she was talking about his last remark, Ross had to contain his giddiness towards hers.  
  
"Of course"  
  
Rachel hugged him and they finally resumed dancing. Both of them lost in the bliss of the moment. However, for very different reasons.  
  
------------------------------------  
  
Driving down her street, by far Rachel could spot Pete's car parked in front of her mansion and sighed. Damn, she didn't need that to ruin her perfect little night! 'Well, at least we can make things clear now' she concluded. A nice clean and final break up was going to be a good for her to enter the new phase her life was certainly going to embrace now that she was dating Ross.  
  
She parked her car on the street and stepped out, watching as Pete did the same.  
  
"Hey" his voice was soft.  
  
"Hi"  
  
"I was just... hm... You wouldn't return my calls, so I just thought maybe-" he trailled off.  
  
Rachel watched him for a while. Pete was a good guy, just not the one for her, clearily. He also had a lot of growing up to do before he ever got in a serious relationship. Or just maybe find himself a girl who'd be aproved by his mom. Either way, this just wasn't it!  
  
But he was a nice guy. Looking at his sad expression, at 1:30 in that cold night made Rachel's heart sink.  
  
"Pete... We need to talk"  
  
"Is this what I think it is?"  
  
Rachel looked down.  
  
"Let's go inside, it's freezing out here"  
  
"Okay"  
  
They went into the house and up to her bedroom. The residence was silent and Rachel well knew on saturdays both her parents slipped in a little something to help them sleep.  
  
Something she would not have to worry about.  
  
"So..."  
  
Rachel closed the door after herself and turned around to look at him. Pete was looking around the room and she noticed as his eyes caught the three picture frames she had on her bedside table.  
  
"Sit down"  
  
She sat on her bed and he followed, taking a seat right next to her. She looked up at him and sighed, before continuing.  
  
"You know, I like you a lot Pete"  
  
"I like you a lot too"  
  
He stroked her hair and she looked down.  
  
"But this isn't working"  
  
"I..." he paused for a while. "I wish I could say that isn't truth"  
  
"Yeah, me too. I'm really sorry"  
  
"It's not your fault. I know sometimes I can be a little... too much to take. It's just that I... I feel kinda of, you know... and I feel like you get me, you know?" Aw "But I understand that's really overwhelming, you don't need that right now"  
  
"No, hey, Pete" she took his hand on hers. "That's not it. I mean... sure, sometimes I..." she trailed off. No, better not say that. Make him feel better, don't be too honest. "I guess I did sometimes understand you, I think. But I'm sure you'll find someone out there who will too, much better. Someone who'll really deserve you and who'll be ready for it." He nodded, yet he looked rather unsure "And, well, someone your mother will aprove"  
  
That last bit made him chuckle. She smiled at him.  
  
"Are we okay?" she whispered.  
  
He looked at her and sadly smiled.  
  
"Sure"  
  
She leaned closer and kissed him softly. When she backed away, the look on his eyes confused her. They were much too serious. Before she had the chance to question him about it, he was already pushing his lips against hers. She played along, resting a hand behind his head and kissing back softly.  
  
He opened his mouth and brushed his tongue into her mouth.  
  
She opened it.  
  
He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer, getting more agressive. His tongue was battling hers wildly right before he pulled away, breathing heavily.  
  
"Hey, one more time, what do you say?"  
  
She looked at him and thoughts raced madly inside her brain. Oh, what the hell? Just one more time. She and Ross were not officially going out yet anyway! Besides... poor Pete. It'd be a nice way to finish it off with him, comforting him about the end of their "relationship".  
  
"Yeah, okay"  
  
He smiled and kissed her again, not as harder as before.  
  
He didn't waste any time before undressing her. Her outfit was quite easy to slip off and he imediately also got rid of her underwear. He took off his clothes himself and within a minute both were already fully naked, kissing on top of the blankets on her bed.  
  
His hands groped her, assalted her body. They did nothing for her, actually. She just laid still while waiting for it to be over. He usually did all the work, it was always much too quick and unpersonal. Before she knew it, he had already slipped on a condon and was carefully slidding inside of her.  
  
"Oh, Rachel..."  
  
She could hear the tears in his voice and turned her head resting on the pillow, closing her eyes to bear the uncomfortable feeling of being yet again penetrated by Pete.  
  
He kept a slow pace at first, but quickly increased speed. He moaned, panted and let very wet tears fall on Rachel's chest untill he couldn't hold it anymore and colapsed on top of her. She ran a hand up his back and kissed his cheek.  
  
"Was it good for you?" he whispered.  
  
"Yeah..." she stroked his back with both hands now, glad she wouldn't have to hear him ask her that anymore.  
  
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Hmmmm... yeah, no comments! I know it's rather short, I'll try to make them longer from now on. I'll probably post a new one tomorrow, I'm getting all excited about this fic. I'm afraid I'm gonna need reviews to get me in the mood though, ha-ha! About this R part... Well, let's just say we need this for future reference! ;) 


	6. Chapter 6

And I Feel Home  
  
by Tina  
  
Wow, glad to hear from all the opinions on the reviews! I like it when you guys come and tell me stuff you felt/thought about it, it's really great! Even when it's sort of negative. I do have a lot of things to say about it and I ask you to please read this before you move on to the fic, it's very important to the way you'll read this from now on.  
  
Yup, Rachel is selfish and yup, Ross switched girlfriends too fast. You see... I'm trying to present you an honest story. Forget the Rachel you know now, this is the person I imagine her to be back then. BUT I am changing that, of course, as the story moves along. You're just gonna have to bear with me because for now I'm dealing with the bitchy Rachel I was presented to while watching the show! ;) I'm sticking to those characters as much as I can. Which also explains Ross! He is just madly in love with her, a boyish kind of crush! From my point of view, he's still much too imature to deal with it, hence the way he ended things with Carol just to be with Rachel.  
  
I hope you guys understand I'm not throwing this out there because I feel like it. Sure, I do feel like it (lol), but there's a lot more behind this. As I said, I'm trying to be as honest as I can! However, Ross' part will be really shallow, at least for now. Simply because I'm choosing to view this through Rachel's eyes (as much as I can, anyway).  
  
And yes, I know it's going rather fast, but if I don't rush a bit (the rush actually also represents their imaturity to do things out of impulse like that!) I will write this forever! And I got tons of ideas for the following chapters, so beware! Hope you still keep following the story! It's all being thought through!!! If you need a little help picturing these characters, please watch those episodes with flashbacks. Those are my characters, not the ones from the "actual" show.  
  
----------------------------------------  
  
"You and Pete broke up? Wow, why?"  
  
"It just wasn't working out..." Rachel paused, looked at her watch and tilted her head. "And also..." she trailled off.  
  
Monica got curiosity in her eyes and Rachel almost imediately regret her last words. Or... maybe not. Rachel giggled as Monica glowed with an intrigued smile and moved to sit next to her on the bed.  
  
"What- also what??"  
  
"Nothing..."  
  
But Rachel's smile invited insistance.  
  
"No, c'mon, Rachel, tell me, what is it?"  
  
"Oh, Mon..."  
  
Monica gasped.  
  
"It's someone else, isn't it? Who is it?"  
  
"No one"  
  
"Oh my God! Please tell me it's not Chip!"  
  
"Ew, no, why would I do that?"  
  
"Because you've done it, like a million times before!"  
  
Putting those memories aside was the best decision.  
  
"No, it's not him, okay?"  
  
"But it is someone, isn't it?"  
  
Rachel blushed.  
  
"Well..."  
  
"Hah, I knew it! Who is it?"  
  
"God, Monica..."  
  
"Rachel, please! Aren't I your best friend?"  
  
Rachel shot her a look.  
  
"This is so unfair...! I just... I wish I could tell you, Mon, but we're keeping it as a secret, for now"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"We have our reasons..."  
  
"Do I know him?"  
  
Rachel smiled.  
  
"Very well, I suppose"  
  
"You suppose? Hmmmm.. is it Jack Mitchell?"  
  
"Nope"  
  
"Is it Justin Lambert?"  
  
"Ew, why would I go out with him?"  
  
"His dad runs a studio"  
  
Interesting.  
  
"Really?" Rachel snapped out of it. "Oh, whatever. It's not him and, Monica, forget it, I won't tell you. You'll know about it soon, though, hopefully."  
  
"Okay, okay...!"  
  
"Where's Ross?"  
  
"He left really early this morning, but mom said he'll be back. I don't see a point, but whatever. Mom's making him this special dinner." Monica rolled her eyes "Like they don't have food down at the university!"  
  
"It's not a long ride though, is it?"  
  
"About an hour and a half. But still, if you're there, just stay there!"  
  
"Maybe he had something important to do there."  
  
"Yeah, but why did he have to come back?"  
  
"Maybe he has something to do here."  
  
"Then why didn't he do it yesterday or this morning?"  
  
"Maybe it had to be done after the thing he had to do at uni."  
  
Monica kept looking at Rachel.  
  
"Do you know something I don't?"  
  
Ooops!  
  
Rachel laughed.  
  
"Of course not"  
  
"Mom?? Dad?? I'm back!"  
  
Monica and Rachel heard Ross' voice clearily, even though the bedroom door was closed.  
  
"Well, there he is."  
  
"Hm, I'm kind of hungry. Can you make me one of those famous Monica sanduiches, please?"  
  
Rachel flashed her best friend a charming smile.  
  
"Okay"  
  
---------------------------------  
  
In the kitchen, Judy was making coffee, Ross was grabbing something to eat and Jack was making a week worth of newspaper crosswords, as he did every sunday. He was finishing up the wendsday issue when Monica and Rachel entered. "Eight letters, atomic element number 71... ends in ium."  
  
Ross and Rachel exchanged smiles.  
  
"Ross?"  
  
"What, dad?"  
  
"Atomic element number 71"  
  
He looked down, embarassed.  
  
"Lutetium"  
  
"That's my boy"  
  
Monica went to make Rachel's sanduich. Rachel stood unsure for a while and then sat down on the table, right across from Ross, who was standing behind Jack. Jack had the newspaper sheet close to his eyes, covering his face. Ross and Rachel looked at each other, oblivious to everyone else.  
  
She smiled and made him an adoring questioning sign with her right hand. He nodded, smiling wider than her. She the gestured towards Jack and Judy, silently asking him whether they should tell them. He, once again, nodded.  
  
"Mom, dad... I uh... I got something to tell you guys. Hm, actually..." He looked at Rachel. "Rachel and I have something to tell you"  
  
Monica also turned to watch. Judy poured the coffee she had just made into a mug and handed it to Jack, who put the paper down.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
Ross approached Rachel's chair and she stood up. He carefully took her hand on his. Rachel had never seen anyone act to shy before.  
  
"Hm... Rachel and I, we're kind of" he looked at her and both smiled at each other "we're dating!"  
  
Gasps.  
  
"I mean-" he continued "We haven't really been on a date yet, but..."  
  
"Oh wow! Is this- is this true?" Judy asked Rachel with a smile on her face.  
  
Rachel hugged Ross by his waist and surprised herself with the way she could still stretch her smile wider.  
  
"Yes"  
  
Judy hugged them both.  
  
"Oh, this is so great for you kids!" Then she pulled away "Wait, what about Carol?"  
  
"That's what I was doing this morning"  
  
"You just broke up with her this morning?"  
  
"Yeah"  
  
"Isn't it a bit sudden, son?"  
  
Rachel almost stopped breathing. But Judy quickly turned her atention to Rachel and stroked her hair.  
  
"You know what, forget it. If this was any other girl, this would apply. But it's Rachel... She's family already, you know what you're doing"  
  
"I do" Ross hugged Rachel tighter.  
  
"Then I'm glad" Judy kept on stroking Rachel's hair. "I'm sure you're gonna make my son very happy, Rachel. And you're family already! How perfect is that! Right, Jack?"  
  
"Does that mean we can stop paying for that therapist we've been sending him to since that prom night?"  
  
Ross' look was panicked.  
  
"Dad!"  
  
"Jack, one must know when to keep his mouth shut!"  
  
"Oh, right"  
  
Rachel chuckled.  
  
"What, what is it?"  
  
Ross looked down at her.  
  
"Nothing"  
  
"Here's an idea" Judy began "Why don't you kids go catch a movie or something and when you come back we can all have dinner together?"  
  
Ross looked at Rachel, searching her aproval, despite the humiliation of having his mother set him up on a first date with his own girlfriend.  
  
"Sounds good to me"  
  
"Great"  
  
"Rachel, dear, what would you like to have?"  
  
Rachel had to shift her weight from one side to the other while still cuddling with Ross to ease her excitment.  
  
"Anything's fine, Judy"  
  
"Oh, come on, dear! I want to make something special for you!"  
  
Judy looked at her with such tenderness Rachel was melting in Ross' arms.  
  
"Hm, okay then...! I like that chicken satay you make"  
  
"Chicken satay it is!"  
  
"So, what do you wanna watch?"  
  
Rachel looked up at Ross' gorgeous brown eyes and pondered. Pete was never one to go to the movies, he didn't really enjoy public places such at that. She missed watching every film that came out with a guy, never caring if it was good or bad. If it was bad, after all, they'd have other things to do in the darkness of the movie theater.  
  
But then again, that guy was now Ross. Weird.  
  
"Hm, I don't know. Any good movies out there?"  
  
"There's that one with Madonna" for the first time in minutes, Rachel heard Monica's voice.  
  
She finally shifted her atention to her best friend. The expression she wore was unreadable to Rachel. If anything, it looked lost. Distant, confused.  
  
"But we were supposed to see that together, next weekend!"  
  
Monica chuckled.  
  
"That's- that's fine"  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
Monica shrugged.  
  
"Yeah, sure"  
  
Rachel nodded, making herself a mental note. She'd have to talk to Monica, alone, about this when she came back.  
  
"Okay"  
  
Ross unwrapped his arms around her and she did the same.  
  
"You ready to go?"  
  
"I'll just go get my coat"  
  
Ross planted a shy kiss on her hair and she left the kitchen, hearing faded whispery voices once she was out. They were excited, happy whispers.  
  
------------------------------------------  
  
"Yes, two tickets for that, the five o'clock session"  
  
Ross paid the cashier and retrieved his tickets.  
  
"Thank you"  
  
He turned to face Rachel.  
  
"It starts in about ten minutes. Do you wanna go in or...?"  
  
Rachel looked around.  
  
"Yeah, let's"  
  
Ross took her hand and they went inside. Once they were in the room, they looked around for seats. There were still many vacant ones, but it was getting crowded quickly.  
  
"How's there?" he asked her as he pointed to two empty seats right in the middle.  
  
"Fine"  
  
With little difficulty, they made their way there and sat down.  
  
"Oh, uh, would you like some popcorn or anything?"  
  
"No, I'm fine. Thanks"  
  
"Hm, gum?"  
  
"Maybe later" short silence. "If I have it now, I might get hungry"  
  
"I can get you something to eat"  
  
"No, it's okay. Don't want to ruin dinner"  
  
Ross smiled at her and got her hand again. He looked down at them, playing with her fingers.  
  
"I told you my parents would be happy"  
  
Rachel smiled back.  
  
"Hm, how was it with Carol?"  
  
"It was- it was... weird. She wasn't expecting it and quite frankly neither was I" Rachel put her other hand on top of his, to ensure him he'd done the right thing. Convince him, more likely. He looked up at her and for a while they just looked into each other's eyes. "But it was worth it"  
  
Ross leaned closer and kissed her. She took one of her hands from the little bun their hands had created and rested it behind his neck, stroking his hair as they kissed. Their second kiss. Much more interesting than the first. Before Rachel knew it, she had already opened her mouth for him, naturally.  
  
Very interesting.  
  
They pulled away and he smiled in a new way, like a little boy. Rachel chuckled.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Nothing, I just... never thought I'd ever kiss Rachel Green like that!"  
  
"Right.."  
  
She noticed how nervous he looked.  
  
"You don't need to think about it now"  
  
Their looks were this time serious.  
  
"Hm, weren't you dating this other guy? Pete, I think he was called"  
  
"Yeah, Pete Carney. We broke up." She hesitated. "About a week ago"  
  
"Oh." He was silent for a couple of seconds. "That's uh... recent?"  
  
Rachel felt fear on his voice. He probably thought he was just a rebound thing. She couldn't let that ruin what they had now! She wouldn't.  
  
She stroked his forearm tenderly.  
  
"Hey... It's not what you're thinking. I want this. You have no idea how much I want this."  
  
He nodded, smiling in satisfaction and leaned closer to kiss her one more time.  
  
--------------------------------------  
  
I had plans to write more, but it doesn't seem relevant anymore. So I should stop now and not screw up with my story line! :) Again, gotta say reviews are very much welcome! Next chapter should be posted tomorrow, as I'm really into this fic now! Woo :) R&R all the way, baby ;) Plans going wild inside my head. And don't worry, people, I have it all figured out. Development is something I always insist on exploring! :) At least try, anyway! I'm really-really satisfied with this fic, I must say :) So believe me, I know what I'm doing! 


	7. Chapter 7

And I Feel Home  
  
by Tina  
  
---------------------------------  
  
Wendsday afternoon, Rachel was sick of studying for her exams. She tossed her books aside and sighed. 'Whatever, like a give a damn about this!'. Frustration took most of her, one she did not yet understand. If only she could find something she really cared about. But what was the point of studying for this? She'd manage, at the end...! She'd find a way to pass and one day get her degree and then finally... what?  
  
She could easily break down and cry for her lack of perspective in life.  
  
It had been days since she'd last seen Monica. Three, to be exact. She had been calling her everyday to try and talk to her, talk to her about everything that had been going on. Ever since they became close again, things had been piling up and it seemed like she couldn't handle them if she didn't talk to her, anymore. It had been like that before in High School. Now, it was back. She depended on Monica too much.  
  
Not that Monica had special powers to solve things. But she did have magical eyes and ears that understood. And just having her listen while Rachel vented was good enough. So much more than that...!  
  
But now she was quite scared of what Monica had to say to her, why she was hiding. Of course she knew why, but what would Monica actually say? Or worse yet, ask? That sunday night dinner was quiet and though Rachel was delighted to have to much of Jack and Judy's atention, Monica's silence was frightening.  
  
Taking one deep breath, Rachel got the phone and called her best friend yet one more time.  
  
"Hello?" Judy's sweet voice answered.  
  
"Judy? Hi, it's Rachel"  
  
"Oh, hi, dear, how are you?"  
  
"I'm fine, thanks. You?"  
  
"Just wonderful"  
  
Judy's good mood made Rachel smile.  
  
"Is Monica home?"  
  
"She's out for a jog, actually. But I'll have her call you back as soon as she comes back, okay?"  
  
Same everyday...  
  
"Okay, thanks"  
  
"So, how's it going with my son?"  
  
"Fine"  
  
And Rachel realised she hadn't seen him or talked to him since that sunday. Strange...  
  
"Judy, where's the ?" Jack's faded voice came on the background.  
  
"It's in the desk drawer. Sweetie, I have to hang up now, but I'll pass the message on to Monica"  
  
"Okay, thank you"  
  
They said their goodbyes and hung up. Mere seconds after the phone hit the base, it rang again. Rachel picked it up.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Hi" the male voice on the other side sounded shy. Not too hard to guess who it was.  
  
"Ross?"  
  
"Yeah, hey"  
  
"Hey"  
  
"How are you?"  
  
"Good. You?"  
  
"Yeah, me too." short silence "Been calling you for the past few days, but you're never home"  
  
"Oh, yeah, I've been spending some time with some friends from college, trying to study a bit"  
  
"Exams coming up?"  
  
"Yeah"  
  
"If you need any help..."  
  
Rachel chuckled.  
  
"Ross, you're far from here"  
  
"Yeah, so?" she just kept on smiling. "Well, anyway..."  
  
"So... when are you coming over again?"  
  
"How's friday?"  
  
"Good"  
  
"Chandler's thinking about coming along"  
  
"That'd be nice"  
  
"I hope Monica doesn't chop any more of his toes though"  
  
Rachel laughed at the memory.  
  
"Yeah, that'd be a good plan"  
  
"And listen..."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"There's gonna be this... family thing on uh, on saturday and uh..." Rachel could notice just how nervous he was. Endearing, given that they were already going out! Maybe it would take a while untill he felt completely confident around her. Or maybe that would never happen. Well, still... it was kind of cute! "...and if you don't want to come, that's fine"  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"Just my little cousin Jessica's sweet sixteen party. It's not gonna be too big but uh, well, I have to go, so..."  
  
"Of course I'll go"  
  
"Monica will be there too"  
  
"Ross, I'm not going because of her"  
  
Rachel could somehow sense just the way he was smiling.  
  
"Well, okay. I'll pick you up at eight"  
  
"It's a date"  
  
"It's a date" he repeated, more to savour the feeling than anything else.  
  
The phone conversation went on for a few more minutes, full of awkward silences and some ocasional gags from Ross' part. Nevertheless, both hung up with serene smiles stamped on their faces.  
  
---------------------------------------  
  
Tired of waiting around for Monica's phonecall, about one hour later Rachel was prompted in front of the Geller's front door. She knocked and waited untill Judy opened it.  
  
"Rachel, hi"  
  
"Hey Judy" they hugged "I was in the neighbourhood and I thought I'd come over and talk to Monica in person. Is she back yet?"  
  
"Yes, I think I've just heard her stepping out of the shower"  
  
"Thanks" she started making her way upstairs but then turned around. "Oh, I've just spoken to Ross and he told me about Jessica's sweet sixteen party. Hm, what kind of thing do you think I should wear?"  
  
Judy smiled and stroked Rachel's hair.  
  
"I'm sure anything you'll wear will look great!" Rachel smiled back. "It's going to be pretty casual though, nothing too fancy as I'm sure you're used to"  
  
Rachel shook her head.  
  
"Don't be silly...! Anyway, thanks"  
  
She made her way up the stairs and knocked on Monica's bedroom door.  
  
"Mon?"  
  
"Come in"  
  
Rachel opened the door and found Monica finishing getting dressed. She had a towel wrapped around her head and was wearing pants and a bra while applying deodorant.  
  
"Hey"  
  
Rachel sat down on the bed.  
  
"Hi"  
  
"You've been busy lately, huh?" Rachel's voice was leaning towards sadness, not anger.  
  
"Yeah..." Monica's was guilty.  
  
"Hm, Mon, I just wanted to ask you how you feel about this whole thing... with Ross. I mean... are you okay with it?"  
  
"I don't know?" Monica got the towel from her hair and looked at Rachel. "I just wasn't expecting him to be the guy, that's all"  
  
"Yeah, I can imagine that must've come out as a shock..." Rachel chuckled.  
  
Monica approached her dresser and picked up a hair brush. Very slowly she brushed her hair and looked back at Rachel.  
  
"Just... Rach, tell me you like him"  
  
"I do"  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yes. He's sweet, he's smart, he's cute...! Why wouldn't I like him?"  
  
"I don't know, you never did! You always used to say how geeky and pathetic he was!"  
  
"Yeah, well, I guess I was the pathetic one"  
  
"He just doesn't seem to fit the profile of guys you date"  
  
"How's that?"  
  
"Well, he's not a sports guy, he's not popular, he's not... rich!"  
  
"Wow, Monica. How shallow do you think I am?"  
  
"I'm sorry, that's not what I meant! Look... It's just unsusual, you have to recognise that"  
  
"Sure, it is. Maybe that's a good thing, though"  
  
"Yeah" Monica looked thoughtful. "You know, it really is"  
  
Rachel smiled at her.  
  
"But, please, Rachel..." Monica began. "Don't hurt him. You know how much he adores you, right?"  
  
Guilt stung Rachel a bit. Ross really did adore her, she knew that.  
  
"I can't say I won't. But I'll try not to, Mon. I do really like him, I don't want to hurt him."  
  
"That's good enough"  
  
They smiled at each other.  
  
"So... how the hell did this happen?"  
  
Rachel smiled more.  
  
"Well...! Remember he was here last weekend with Carol and all? I don't know, seeing them together it just... made me look at him differently." She noticed the look in Monica's eyes. "Not that I did this because I was envious! A little, maybe, but it's not what you think" Only it was... "It just... showed me this whole side of him I didn't know before" Rachel suddenly stopped talking. Somehow her words didn't sound like a lie anymore, not even to herself.  
  
"Anyway" she continued "then we had that thing of yours to go to and... I don't know... we were there, dancing, and it felt... nice" again, that weird feeling filled Rachel.  
  
"Aw! So you can say that, in a way, it's all because of me!"  
  
Rachel chuckled.  
  
"Yeah, okay, in a way"  
  
"You're welcome"  
  
Rachel shot Monica a look as she put on a shirt.  
  
"Hey, listen, Chandler's coming over this weekend"  
  
Monica quickly turned around, nervous.  
  
"Whoa, why?"  
  
"I don't know, Ross told me. I'm thinking he's also going to your cousin Jessica's sweet sixteen"  
  
"You're coming too, right?"  
  
"Yup"  
  
"Oh, thank God"  
  
"You up for that revenge plan?"  
  
Monica laughed nervously.  
  
"I think we've got enough of that already, Rachel! I chopped his toe off!"  
  
Rachel laughed.  
  
"He was so pathetically drooling all over you...!"  
  
Monica stopped and shot her a serious look.  
  
"Yeah, like Ross does to you."  
  
Rachel stopped laughing.  
  
"I didn't mean it like that, Monica"  
  
Monica nodded, but Rachel could see Monica's trust on her relationship with Ross was weak. Rachel looked down, she had to change that.  
  
"Well, anyway, it'll be fun...!"  
  
---------------------------------------------------------  
  
Hmmm, yeah, so I might add some C&M into the story. It might be fun, I like old Monica a lot! Not that I don't like the other, but I just really love it when she's all geeky and shy and stuff ;) Anyway...! I know this chapter is kind of boring, but I needed it for the story. More to come soon! Mwah! Reviews?? 


	8. Chapter 8

And I Feel Home  
  
by Tina  
  
------------------------------  
  
"Why has Ross Geller been calling you so much?"  
  
Rachel looked up from the sanduich she was making straight at Amy.  
  
"Yeah, thanks for all the messages, by the way" she replied, sarcastically.  
  
"Are you dating him?" Amy laughed at the absurdity of her own question, being joined by their youngest sister, Jill.  
  
"Yes" Rachel shot them a deadly look, rejecting the joke.  
  
"What?!"  
  
"You're dating Ross?"  
  
Rachel looked at her mother, who had just drawn her atention from training the new maid. Rachel was too upset to take better notice...!  
  
"Yes" she looked at her watch. "Which remindes me, I gotta go meet him in a few minutes. I'm having dinner at the Gellers'"  
  
Rachel simply informed, taking her sanduich and leaving her mother and sisters confused in the kitchen.  
  
-------------------------------  
  
"Hi, sweetie"  
  
Rachel made her way across the room towards Ross.  
  
"Hey" he replied with the sweetest smile on his face.  
  
They kissed very softly.  
  
"How are you?"  
  
"Good, now." She smiled back at him. "You?"  
  
"Good"  
  
She finally tore her eyes away from him to look at Monica, who was watching them.  
  
"Hey, Mon"  
  
"Hey" her voice was sort of distant, not amused.  
  
She kept her arms around Ross, hugging his torso protectively and finally noticed Chandler's presence. It was hard to understand how that boy always managed to blend with the rest of the livingroom, as if invisible. Specially with that dumfounded look he wore.  
  
"Wow, so he wasn't making it up!" he whispered in amazement.  
  
Ross took one arm from Rachel just long enough to hit Chandler.  
  
"Shut up!"  
  
Chandler seemed to snap out of the transe he was in. Rachel looked closer... he looked familiar. Sure, she remembered spending two Thanksgivings with him already, but there was more... Hmmmm.  
  
"Hi" she simply said to him.  
  
"Hey"  
  
She kept looking at him for a few more seconds. Since nothing else was spoken - oh, well, boring - she turned back to look at Ross.  
  
"How was your week?"  
  
"Long..."  
  
She smiled at him, knowing exactly what those big brown eyes meant. He didn't have to actually say it.  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yeah..."  
  
Chandler sat back on the couch, next to Monica. Rachel looked at the t.v..  
  
"What are you guys doing?"  
  
"Just watching t.v."  
  
Rachel sat on the couch, bringing Ross to join her. She tugged to his hand and leaned against his chest. It seemed like her affection towards him had multiplied since the last time they'd seen each other.  
  
Monica watched and looked away.  
  
----------------------------------------  
  
Rachel looked at her own reflection on the mirror for the millionth time that night - it seemed - before entering the party. Her shoulder-lenght redish-brown hair was half up, her bangs framing her face gracefully. Her make up just strong enough to go well with her classy yet casual black dress that went down to her knees. There was slit up one leg and Ross' hand was also strategically well placed on her waist. She rested one of her own on top of his.  
  
Chandler and Monica followed them, dressed just as nicely. Chandler, as Ross, was wearing a suit with no tie and Monica was wearing a red dress. The party was being held at the back of Ross and Monica's Aunt Sylvia's house. It was a rather large yard and a stage had been set up, where a band of teenagers played. Rachel recognised some as being Amy's High School friends.  
  
"Is your cousin Jessica friends with Amy?" she asked Ross.  
  
"As far as I know, Amy makes her life a living hell"  
  
"Oh"  
  
Ross noticed the hostility of his words and panicked.  
  
"I mean, I-"  
  
Rachel placed her other arm around his waist and stroked it.  
  
"It's okay, Ross"  
  
He fell silent and sighed.  
  
"So, kids, what's to do here?" Chandler asked.  
  
Before anyone could answer, an old couple approached and a gorgeous boy around Ross' age approchaed. He had dirty blond hair and green eyes. Rachel looked at him and yet again felt like she had seen him before.  
  
"Ross, Monica, there you are!" the woman said, catching up to them and hugging Monica imediately. "Uh, and who are these young beauties you've brought along?"  
  
Ross smiled from ear to ear and looked at Rachel.  
  
"This is Rachel, my girlfriend"  
  
The blonde guy's smile looked rather seductive to Rachel.  
  
"I remember her. Monica's sweet sixteen..."  
  
Rachel looked at Ross and saw panic on his face. She was confused just untill she recollected it herself. Riiiight... Monica's cousin, how could she have forgotten it? Good kisser.  
  
"Hi Rachel" he offered her a hand.  
  
She awkwardly shook it.  
  
"Hi, Charlie"  
  
She placed her hand back to cover Ross', stroking it a couple of times. Then she rested it on his stomach, rubbing it softly, as if to silently asure him she was his girlfriend now. He looked down at her as the conversation went on, on the side, with Monica and Chandler.  
  
"Wanna get something to eat?" even a sentense as random as that could be spoken with a high level of tenderness, as the simple words lightly escaped from her lips.  
  
He smiled at her.  
  
"Sure"  
  
Hand in hand, they approached a large table where Judy and Jack were sitting among other adults.  
  
"Oh, there they are" Judy announced. "Sylvia, that is Rachel, who I've been telling you about"  
  
Rachel blushed.  
  
"Mo-om!"  
  
Rachel placed a hand on Ross' chest and lightly patted it.  
  
"It's okay"  
  
After being introduced to everybody in the table, possibly in the intire party, Rachel finally returned to sit next to Ross.  
  
"Sorry about that" he shyly told her.  
  
"Sweetie" she placed a hand on his knee "don't worry about it, really. I kinda like this"  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Hmhum"  
  
He smiled at her. Very slowly and uncertainly, he leaned closer and planted a shy kiss on her lips. Rachel managed to smile even more.  
  
Chandler and Monica were finally released from her aunt and uncle's conversation. Charlie had long ago managed to slip away, excusing himself for something. Whatever, at this point Monica didn't care. She was nervously shifting her body from one side to the other, trying to ease the thick tension that filled the air. The last time she'd been alone with Chandler was exactly the time she'd cut off the tip of one of his toes, about a month before.  
  
'Okay, say something!' she thought to herself 'What?? Not about his toe! Anything but his toe!'  
  
"Hm, that's crazy about Ross and Rachel, huh?"  
  
"Yeah, tell me about it. I swear I really didn't believe him untill I've seen it with my own eyes"  
  
Monica looked over and saw them kissing.  
  
"Great, there goes my prospect of having Rachel make me company tonight..."  
  
"Funny, that's exacty the opposite for me, now"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Well, not tonight, but since Ross was with Carol a lot before they broke up now we get to hang out more back in college"  
  
"Nice..."  
  
"Anyway, I can make you company!"  
  
Monica smiled shyly at him. Without taking notice, her eyes looked at him up and down and it made her take longer than usual to answer.  
  
"Okay"  
  
"You don't have a knife with you right now though, do ya?"  
  
Though he was clearily joking, Monica spot a hint of true fear in his voice.  
  
"No" she blushed.  
  
Rachel sipped Ross' glass of wine and looked around.  
  
"I'm gonna go freshen up"  
  
Her hand resting on his knee gave it a light squeeze.  
  
"We've just got here"  
  
"What's your point?"  
  
He chuckled and she smiled.  
  
"I'll be right back"  
  
"Sure"  
  
"Can you point me the directions?"  
  
"Oh, right, there on the pool deck"  
  
"Thanks"  
  
Rachel set his glass down and stood up. Ross watched as she walked away and disappeared behind the pool house.  
  
"Nice to see you again!"  
  
"Oh damn!" Rachel startled. "You scared me!"  
  
Charlie approached her quite straight foward-ly, but she backed away. She knew exactly what he wanted. Maybe go a little farther than the 3rd base they'd reached their last encounter.  
  
"C'mon, Rachel, we had fun last time"  
  
"Charlie, get lost"  
  
Rachel tried to walk away, be he held her back.  
  
"I know you better than this"  
  
Rachel chuckled.  
  
"Oh, guess what, you don't. You've just met me once, like, whoa, six years ago, was it?"  
  
"Still, I know better." He approached again, but this time Rachel didn't back away. She looked up at his eyes, they were so charming. "No one will know" he whispered.  
  
But before he could take the next move - which Rachel well knew would be to kiss her right away - she stepped back.  
  
"Sorry"  
  
She turned around and returned to Ross' table, completely forgetting about the freshening up bit. Well, maybe... just maybe... her intentions were to really just run into Charlie by herself...  
  
'Still got it' she thought to herself.  
  
----------------------------------------------  
  
Hmmm, many plans. Many, many plans. Not much free time though. Or patience and the right mood to write! But I'm trying here! You know what helps getting me in the mood? lol, reviews! Yes! Also, I've decided that the C&M will be very light! Sorry, it's hard for me to write about them... plus, there are like a gazillion fics about them out there! So...! :) Anyway, cya next chapter! 


	9. Chapter 9

And I Feel Home  
  
by Tina  
  
---------------------------------  
  
"Hey, Mon"  
  
Monica opened the door and stepped aside so Rachel could walk in.  
  
"Hey, Rach"  
  
"How's that shrimp coming along?"  
  
"Huh?!"  
  
Rachel stood there and shot her friend a look.  
  
"Did you forget it?"  
  
"Oh my God!"  
  
"I can't believe this, Monica. I had that thing delivered here on thursday, please tell me you got it"  
  
"Must be on the fridge. God, Rach, sorry, I had a lot in mind, I was making spaguetti! But hey-" Monica looked at her watch "We still got time to make the shrimp!"  
  
Rachel smiled.  
  
"Well, you better! I've been dreaming about that the whole week!"  
  
It was their thing now. Every sunday Monica would cook them something really nice, just for the two of them.  
  
"Okay, c'mon"  
  
They started making their way into the kitchen.  
  
"Where's Ross?" Rachel almost quietly asked.  
  
Monica looked at her. Strange. She'd never heard Rachel's voice sound like that.  
  
"Last time I saw him, he was watching t.v. in the t.v. room. What did you guys do last night?"  
  
"Oh, just went out to dinner."  
  
Without a notice, Rachel changed her way to the kitchen and opened the t.v. room door. Monica rolled her eyes and approached, but contained herself to stand by the doorway as Rachel entered.  
  
Ross had his eyes closed and his breathing was steady. In the t.v. screen, Rachel got a quick glimpse of a documentary about some species of monkeys or something. Shifting her sight back to her boyfriend's sleeping form, she suddenly felt this warmth inside of her and smiled.  
  
"I'll be right there, Mon" Rachel whispered.  
  
Picking up the hint, Monica left. Surprised and confused would be good names to describle her feelings. Neither goor, nor bad.  
  
Rachel knelt down next to Ross and for the while contented herself with the mere sight of him. Soon, however, she needed more. Carefully, she laid herself down next to him. He shifted and adjusted himself, aknowleging her presence in a semi-conscient stage. They cuddled and closed their eyes.  
  
The air was heavy with his sound and his smell. She could even swear it was loaded with this energy that radiated from him. It was peaceful. His breathing moved that air quietly, its sounds were smooth. The scent was clean, natural. She knew it wasn't cologne, it was him. She prompted herself upwards so she could glue her nose to his neck and get more of it.  
  
He chuckled.  
  
"What are you doing?" he asked softly.  
  
She smiled.  
  
"Nothing, you just smell so good"  
  
"You smell good too"  
  
He lowered his face into her neck like she'd done and she shivered. But, for a moment, oh, so ashamed of her Tommy Girl.  
  
"Hm" She considered pushing him away, but the gentle touch of his lips on a well placed kiss on her neck made her reconsider. She draped her arms around him and closed her eyes.  
  
"Did you sleep well?"  
  
"Well-" he began, still focused on admiring and cherishing her neck. She had an interesting collarbone "I did, actually. But I'm still making up for all of my lack of sleep during the week."  
  
"When are your exams ending?"  
  
"End of next week"  
  
"Really? Aw, mine end at the end of this week"  
  
"Yeah, well, see... Most of mine do too, but I'm sort of involved with this uh, thing and uh... you know, I have to stay there till it's finished"  
  
"What thing?"  
  
He blushed.  
  
"It's nothing"  
  
"C'mon, Ross, tell me"  
  
"It's stupid"  
  
"Then there'll be no problem on you telling me"  
  
"You'll just think I'm a geek"  
  
"Got news for you, sweetie: I already do"  
  
Ross shot her a look and she giggled, supporting her head in one of her arms.  
  
"Okay, uh... It's just a silly RPG group"  
  
Rachel stroked his hair and locked her gaze on his lips. The botton one, in particular.  
  
"It's not silly"  
  
Ross smiled.  
  
"So, how's your studying going?" he asked.  
  
"Not too bad"  
  
"Got any plans for the hollidays?"  
  
"Not really, I'll be staying around" she smiled at him. "Dad was thinking about spending Christmas eve on Poconos though. For a change" she added sarcastically and he smiled back. "What about you?"  
  
"I'll be aroud here, as always"  
  
"I'll try to lure my dad into just staying there for a couple of days, if we do go. Eveybody's coming over, it should be fun."  
  
"Everybody?"  
  
"Yeah, from High School! It's been a while...!"  
  
"Oh"  
  
Rachel failed to notice the concern in his voice.  
  
"God, I really miss Mindy! I haven't talked to her in such a long time! So much for the 'not losing contact' pact!"  
  
Ross looked away from her and held back a deep sigh. As he did that, Rachel noticed his neck and how his muscles contracted to make that simple movement. She ran a finger across a little path they created and then shifted her glance to his arms. He looked down at her as she came closer again and stroked the left one. It was definitely not as soft as she thought it would be, even though the skin was still really smooth.  
  
She rested her face on his chest and closed her eyes. He gently wrapped an arm around her and rest his hand on her lower back. He stroked it softly, getting a faint wish to let it go lower once in a while. And a little part of her wished he would too. After a while, she promped herself up one more time and kissed him.  
  
Before Rachel knew it, they were kissing like they had never done before. But it was not the desperate type of passionate kisses she'd shared before. It was somehow still focused and loaded with much more important emotions. She could tell. It was needy, yes, but she knew it wasn't just the moment. It was the whole, for him. It wasn't that Ross was kissing a beautiful girl. It was that he was kissing her.  
  
She could tell.  
  
Urge started builting up inside of her. She seemed to completely forget she was laid down on his parents' t.v. room couch. She adjusted herself under him and brought one of her knees up, to his side. It didn't take long untill he took the hint. Up and down he massaged her tigh, and even though she was wearing thick pants it still did so much to her.  
  
Knock-knock.  
  
"Rachel are you coming??" Monica asked from the other side of the door.  
  
Ross and Rachel broke. She laughed and smiled at him.  
  
"Yeah, I'll be right there" She sat down and brushed the side of her lips with the back of her fingers, softly. "Hmmm" she adjusted her hair the best way she could. Damn, she was hot! She had no idea Ross Geller would ever make her feel that way.  
  
Hmm, well, he was her boyfriend...! They would have to sleep together at some point... Not a bad idea now, was it?  
  
She turned to face him again and kissed him softly.  
  
"I better go before your sister kills me"  
  
"You better"  
  
They smiled at each other and he kissed her one more time.  
  
----------------------------------------  
  
"God, Monica, I swear I'm beginning to put on weight after we started doing these things..." Rachel rested her silverwear on her plate and sighed with great difficulty. "I swear I'm gonna starve myself all week to make up for this!"  
  
"Don't forget there's always next sunday!"  
  
"Riiiight"  
  
"What do you wanna have then?"  
  
"Antacids"  
  
"Funny"  
  
Rachel chuckled as Monica picked up the plates.  
  
"Seriously, I can't keep on eating like this...!"  
  
"Why not? It's healthy, Rach. Besides, yeah, like the guys would mind if you get a little something to go with your bones" Rachel chuckled and Monica looked away. "Specially, hm, Ross"  
  
Rachel smiled.  
  
"Why? Is he into the chubby kind?"  
  
"No, he just wouldn't mind how you look, that's all"  
  
Rachel smiled at Monica in a way that gave her feelings for Ross a little more credit.  
  
"You're the one to talk, Monica. Eversince you lost all that weight, man, you're sure very skinny"  
  
"Well, I'm scared if I put on a little more weight it will all come back at once, you know?"  
  
"Yeah, I know what you mean...!"  
  
Rachel played with her glass for a while. The door opened a bit and Ross peeked inside.  
  
"Is it safe to enter now?"  
  
Rachel smiled at him and pushed a chair next to her. He smiled back and happily joined her. Monica looked back from the sink and then went back to her business, smiling to herself. Now that she thought about it, Ross and Rachel did make a cute couple! Sure it looked unusual at a first quick glance, but now... it wasn't, anymore.  
  
"Would you like some shrimp?" Rachel asked Ross, playing with his hands. "We got some left-over"  
  
"Left over, huh? Is that all I get?"  
  
She chuckled.  
  
"Hey, it's our girls' thing!" she shrugged. "I suggest you take it, it's our best offer"  
  
He smiled.  
  
"Yeah, ok"  
  
Ross grabbed a plate and started serving himself. When he sat down to eat, Judy and Jack entered. They all greeted one another.  
  
"Oh, Rachel, dear" Judy began "There's something I've been meaning to ask you!"  
  
"Sure, what?"  
  
"What are you doing wendsday afternoon?"  
  
"Not much, really. Just got to study a bit, but it's mostly done" Lie. "Why?"  
  
"Well, would you like to go shopping with me at the city? We could drive there after you're out and we have dinner in a nice restaurant after we were done"  
  
Squee!  
  
"Of course!"  
  
"Hey!" Monica protested. "What about me?"  
  
"Oh, Monica, aren't you busy on wendsday?"  
  
"We could re-scadule that!"  
  
"No, Monica, this is my thing with Rachel. Like I did it with Carol, I want to spend some time with her"  
  
Rachel smiled and hugged Ross. He smiled back at her.  
  
"This is not fair!"  
  
"Why are you so upset now?" Judy asked. "You didn't think it was a big deal when I did it with Carol"  
  
"Well, this is different!"  
  
"How?"  
  
"It's Rachel!"  
  
"So?" Rachel asked quickly.  
  
Monica looked at her and then sighed.  
  
"Nevermind. Go, bond with her, I don't care"  
  
Monica left the kitchen.  
  
-----------------------------------------------------  
  
I was not expecting this bit, actually, but... Anyway, reviews?? Please :) It's heating up, I'm getting to the part where I want!!! School's being a bitch though and I've been pretty busy and uninspired (God, so tired). But I think your words about it might (will!) help! :D Thanks for reading! 


	10. Chapter 10

And I Feel Home  
  
by Tina  
  
-----------------------------------  
  
Rachel threw the countless shopping bags on her bed and smiled in satisfaction. Quickly, she opened a few and scanned through the shirts, dresses, skirts and many other itens she had bought on her afternoon away at the city with Judy. It was great! The whole afternoon was just great! Judy was so sweet and so caring and funny too! She'd asked to see everything Rachel tried on and had a new flattering comment to say each time she came out of the dressing rooms.  
  
After making room for her new stuff in her already stuffed closet and putting the bags away, Rachel threw herself on her bed and sighed. She was exausted. Damn that exam the next day! She looked at the books resting on her bedside table and groaned. 'Better leave it up to luck, by now.' She just wanted the hollidays to come and enjoy some time off school.  
  
Next to her books, stood the new pictures she'd had framed. Her family's was still the same, but the Gellers' was a much more recent one. She was in it. She sat proudly next to Ross, who had an arm around her waist. It was taken at Jessica's sweet sixteen party, they all looked very nice. Picture perfect!  
  
Then... Rachel remembered about Monica's little scene a few days before. They had talked it out, but Rachel knew there was still resentment on her best friend's voice. It would fade. Rachel knew Monica's relationship with her mother had always been rocky and she did not want to get herself in the middle of it. She hoped her bonding with Judy wouldn't make things worst... But, to be honest, she knew that, if it did, she wouldn't do anything about it.  
  
A third picture bore her and Ross. Rachel looked at it for a while and closed her eyes. She thought of him. She had to talk to him.  
  
She took her phone and called him. After a few rings, his sleepy voice answered.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Ross?"  
  
"Rachel?"  
  
"I'm sorry, did I wake you?"  
  
"Don't worry about it"  
  
"Oh, I'm so sorry"  
  
"I told you not to worry..."  
  
She sighed.  
  
"Did anything happen?"  
  
"No, not really... I just wanted to talk to you"  
  
She could hear him chuckle in this adorable way he did sometimes when he smiled. She smiled too.  
  
"I'm all ears"  
  
"I went shopping with your mother today"  
  
"Yeah? Did you have fun?"  
  
"A lot"  
  
"Good"  
  
"I bought you something"  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yeah, but you'll have to come and get it"  
  
"Oh, I will"  
  
She chuckled.  
  
"I miss you"  
  
She said it without thinking.  
  
"I miss you too"  
  
But having it said back, she felt this reasurance that it was okay. It was okay to feel that way and say it to him.  
  
It was Ross.  
  
"So how was your day?" she asked, changing the subject.  
  
And so they talked till practicly the time Rachel had to go get changed for school.  
  
---------------------------------------------------  
  
Before Rachel knew it, friday had arrived. She came down the stairs of the main builting of her university chatting with some friends as she spotted something she didn't quite expect. Mindy was standing beside her aparently brand new car, with a smile on her face. Rachel smiled and rushed over. Both girls squealed and hugged, jumping up and down.  
  
"Oh, Min, it's so good to see you!!"  
  
"It's been such a long time, Rach!"  
  
"Yeah, hey-" Rachel broke the hug "How have you been?"  
  
"I've been great! You?"  
  
"You wouldn't believe it"  
  
"What do you say we go over to my place to chat so you can update me with all the news?"  
  
"Sounds like a plan"  
  
"Are you driving?"  
  
"Yeah, I'll be right behind you"  
  
After another quick hug, Rachel rushed over to her car and drove to Mindy's house.  
  
----------------  
  
"Sooooo" Mindy picked Rachel by her hands and sat her down beside her on her bed. "Tell me everything! How are things with Pete?"  
  
"I wouldn't know"  
  
Mindy eyed her with confusion clear in her eyes.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"We broke up"  
  
"Oh, why?"  
  
"Well, it wasn't working...! Pete's too... intense for me"  
  
"Still with the crying thing?"  
  
"Everytime!"  
  
Mindy chuckled.  
  
"The poor guy"  
  
"Yeah, I actually feel bad for him"  
  
"Oh, but anyway, single now?"  
  
Rachel smiled shyly.  
  
"Not quite"  
  
"Oh, who is it??" Mindy practicly bounced, beaming at Rachel. "Barry? Is it Barry?"  
  
"Nope"  
  
"Then who? C'mon, tell me"  
  
Rachel looked at Mindy and for the first time imagined what her friend's reaction would be. So Ross wasn't like the ideal type Mindy always pictured her with...! She didn't exactly know him well though. She'd just seen him a few times, God, so many years ago! The last, what a disaster! Ross had spent the intire evening surrounding the girls and Rachel still remembered all the remarks Mindy had made on his behavior. And his looks. And everything about him.  
  
She shook it off.  
  
"Are you seeing someone?"  
  
Egocentric she was, Mindy didn't even notice the change of topic. She jumped at any oportunity to ramble about herself.  
  
"Ho-ney, you're not gonna believe this! His name's Jim and guess what?"  
  
"He's a doctor?"  
  
"No, he's a drop out! But his dad is!!"  
  
Rachel chuckled.  
  
"He's so gorgeous you wouldn't believe it! He's tall and blonde and he's got these gorgeous green eyes!"  
  
"Good for you, Min"  
  
"Okay, now back to your mistery man!"  
  
Mindy's comments on her boyfriend had done nothing but disencorage Rachel to tell Mindy about Ross.  
  
"Well..."  
  
"Oh, honey, did you sleep well last night?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Just now I'm noticing your eyes! What the hell happened?"  
  
"Hm"  
  
Mindy gasped and smiled.  
  
"Was it him? Did you spend the whole night awake with him?"  
  
Mindy winked at Rachel, who smiled.  
  
"I did, actually."  
  
"How was it?"  
  
Rachel smiled.  
  
"Good"  
  
Very good indeed. The recollection boosted up Rachel's courage.  
  
"You know him, actually. Can't say you know him well, though"  
  
"Tell me, you're killing me!"  
  
"It's Ross Geller" Rachel stated simply, with a smile on her face.  
  
Mindy stared back for a few seconds.  
  
"Ross Geller? Okay, I don't think I know him. I mean, I know A Ross Geller, but it's not THE Ross Geller!"  
  
"Monica's brother?"  
  
"Yeah"  
  
"That's the one!" Rachel still wore the same cool smile.  
  
"You- you're dating Ross Geller?"  
  
"Yes"  
  
"What?? WHY?"  
  
"Why wouldn't I? He's cute, he's sweet, he's funny...!"  
  
"Whoa, okay, who are you and what have you done to Rachel??"  
  
Rachel tilted her head.  
  
"Mindy, c'mon, you haven't seen him in a long time!"  
  
"So? I know enough, Rachel, that guy is a pathetic excuse for a guy!"  
  
The smile finally faded. Mindy had gone too far.  
  
"Mindy, stop it! You don't know what you're talking about, okay? He's changed!"  
  
"Oh my God, and you're in love with him!"  
  
"What if I am?"  
  
"Rachel, what the hell's happened to you?"  
  
"What's wrong with me dating Ross?"  
  
"Everything!"  
  
"God, I cannot believe you're saying this"  
  
"Okay, I know what's going on. I know you're with him because he cherishes you and stuff, he sees you as a Goddess and you like it! But Rachel, that's not enough!"  
  
"Oh, really, Min? And what is enough? Being with a guy because his dad's a doctor?"  
  
Mindy shot her an angry look.  
  
"You've always done it, Rachel"  
  
"Not anymore, now, am I?"  
  
"Wow... and what's he like in bed, huh? I bet he can't even contain himself! How many times has he come in your pants?"  
  
It took all of Rachel's strengh not to hit Mindy. She simply stood up and sighed.  
  
"Yeah, nice taking to you, Min. I'll see you around"  
  
---------------------------------------------  
  
Rachel finally parked her car in front of the Gellers' residence. Still buffing, she hopped off and ran up to the door. After a knock, Monica quickly opened it.  
  
"Oh, hey Rach"  
  
"Do you know the way to Ross' college?"  
  
"Yeah"  
  
"Care for a little road trip?"  
  
---------------------------------------------  
  
Yeah... Reviews? :) 


	11. Chapter 11

And I Feel Home  
  
by Tina  
  
----------------------------------------  
  
Before I begin, I would like to say there's a huge mistake on the previous chapter! I wrote "friday" as if it came right after "wendsday". Meaning: I wrote Rachel's encounter with Mindy as if it'd happened the day after Rachel spoke to Ross on the phone! Clearing that up: Say they spoke on the phone again on thursday, ok? Ross and Rachel did not spend the night together... yet!  
  
This chapter is rated R for sexual content!!  
  
----------------------------------------  
  
"This is the door" Monica pointed out as she and Rachel reached Ross and Chandler's dorm.  
  
Rachel rushed over and knocked several times, but no one answered.  
  
"Damn it, they're not here"  
  
She sighed on frustration and paced around. Monica watched her best friend with confusion. The whole ride Rachel hadn't told her anything, just acted kind of strange. She took a seat on a set of stairs and Monica joined her.  
  
"Are you gonna tell me what happened now?"  
  
"I just wanna see your brother"  
  
"Why? What's so urgent that you had to drag me all the way here?"  
  
"I didn't drag you, okay??"  
  
Rachel's hostile entonation took Monica by surprise.  
  
"Okay, sorry"  
  
"No, I- I'm sorry Monica. God, I'm so sorry, I'm just so uurghh!!"  
  
"Just wanna say that if you want to talk about it, I'm here" Monica looked at her watch. "Hopefully not for long"  
  
Rachel smiled at her, looking truly thankful.  
  
"Thanks, Mon. Sorry for, hm, for dragging you down here"  
  
Monica smiled back at her.  
  
"It's no problem"  
  
"Did you have any plans?"  
  
"Other than this thing on t.v., nothing"  
  
Rachel's smile at the way Monica's cheeks turned pink.  
  
"I- I had a fight with Mindy"  
  
Monica looked at her and smiled in a supportive way.  
  
"You guys fight all the time, I'm sure you'll work past this"  
  
"No"  
  
"Why, what happened this time?"  
  
"I just... This isn't just about her, Mon, you see... It's about me too"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"This afternoon while I was talking to her as she said these, whoa, stupid things I just... I realised it was just like listening to myself talking!"  
  
"C'mon, Rachel, you know that's not truth. You're the most down-to-Earth cheerleader I know!"  
  
Monica chuckled, but Rachel's look didn't get any better.  
  
"See, that just makes me feel worst for the others, not better for myself"  
  
"Okay, look, Rach... I'm gonna be honest with you. Yes, you're a little spoiled sometimes and a bit shallow and you say these things that I don't agree with and etc... But you're so... open to accept new things and learn! You've been changing so much! You- you had a fat, unpopular friend as a best friend in high school! You were not ashamed to be seen with me at parties and things, I don't think you'll ever understand how much that meant to me!"  
  
Monica's eyes glisted a bit and Rachel smiled at her, taking her hand.  
  
"And- and now you're dating my brother..." Monica looked down at the floor. "I know I gave you a hard time at first, but I can see that you like him. And you like him for the right reasons. Two-years-ago-Rachel would never do that!"  
  
Rachel looked down too, her mind racing.  
  
"My fight with Mindy was over Ross"  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yeah... She uh... she didn't take the news well and said all these unfair things and I stood up for him"  
  
Monica smiled.  
  
"Wow. That's- that's great to hear, Rach, I-"  
  
Before Monica could go any further, the girls heard Ross and Chandler's voices coming up the stairs. They quickly stood up and waited for them to reach their level. When they did, Ross quickly spotted Rachel and looked surprised.  
  
"Rach? Hey, what are you doing here?"  
  
They smiled at each other.  
  
"Hey you"  
  
"How are you?"  
  
"Fine"  
  
They approached each other and kissed.  
  
"Did anything happen?"  
  
"Not really, I just... wanted to see you"  
  
His eyes glowed and she smiled. She'd done the right thing.  
  
"Have you been waiting for long?"  
  
"No, we just got here, actually"  
  
"Okay then, come in"  
  
Monica looked at Chandler, nervous.  
  
"You know what, we'll give you two some time" she said.  
  
Rachel nodded.  
  
"Thanks"  
  
Monica smiled at Ross and Rachel as they entered the room and was left alone in the hall with Chandler. A short and awkward silence followed.  
  
"Hm, Chandler? Is there anywhere we can watch some t.v.?" She tried her best to get that to come out cooly.  
  
----  
  
Rachel looked around Ross and Chandler's dorm. It wasn't too big. Two beds, two desks and a two small bedside tables. She could tell which one was Ross' because it bore a single framed picture of her. She smiled at it.  
  
"This is nice"  
  
"It's small"  
  
"It's still nice" she shrugged and he smiled. "That picture there lightens up the intire room!"  
  
She pointed at her picture.  
  
"I agree"  
  
She chuckled.  
  
"Is this your bed?" she pointed to one.  
  
"No, that's Chandler's"  
  
She looked at the other bed, where a guitar layed.  
  
"Is that guitar yours?"  
  
"Yeah"  
  
"What happened to the keyboards?"  
  
"Nothing, just decided to try something new"  
  
"Are you good at it?"  
  
"I'm still learning" he blushed slightly and Rachel smiled.  
  
"Play something to me" she asked.  
  
He looked at her in this shy manner.  
  
"I- I'm not really good yet"  
  
Se tilted her head and smiled in the most adorable way Ross had ever seen her do it.  
  
"Please"  
  
He smiled back.  
  
"Okay"  
  
He took the guitar and sat on the bed. She took a seat next to him, indian style. He started playing softly. The melody was charming.  
  
"Look at the stars, look how they shine for you. And everything you do, yeah, they were all yellow. I came along, I wrote a song for you and all the things you do, and it was called yellow..."  
  
His voice was almost a whisper. He quickly looked up at her from the guitar and she felt shivers up and down her spine. She loved that song and she knew that even though Ross had not written it for her, he meant it.  
  
"So then I took my turn, Oh what a thing to have done, and it was all yellow. Your skin, Oh yeah, your skin and bones turn into something beautiful. You know, you know I love you so. You know I love you so..."  
  
At this last bit, Rachel noticed the way Ross looked down and blushed. He loved her...!  
  
"I swam across, I jumped across for you, Oh what a thing to do. 'Cause you were all yellow. I drew a line, I drew a line for you, Oh what a thing to do, and it was all yellow. Your skin, Oh yeah your skin and bones, Turn into something beautiful, And you know for you I'd bleed myself dry. For you I'd bleed myself dry...."  
  
Before he got the chance to finish it, Rachel moved closer, stroked an arm up his back and kissed his neck. Ross stopped playing and chuckled.  
  
"I can't play like this"  
  
"That's the idea" she giggled.  
  
"Am I that bad?" he smiled at her.  
  
"No, no. You're that good"  
  
They kept looking at each other for a while, untill he leaned closer to kiss her and set the guitar down. When he was done, his arms occupied themselves with her. She also wrapped her arms around him and thought to herself that was it. She had never wanted anyone so much her entire her. It was a bit scary, actually, but the way he kissed her just made her cast her fears aside. The desire builting up inside of her left no room for much else.  
  
They laid back down on the matress, she on top of him. She opened her legs and straddled him as they kissed even more intensely. His hands finally got bolder and ran up and down her tighs and ass. Hmmm, he had nice hands, she thought.  
  
She moved her lips from his to kiss his neck.  
  
"Do you have protection?" she whispered.  
  
"Yeah"  
  
He quickly sat up and Rachel sat up aswell. He reached into his bedside table and picked up a condom. He set it next to Rachel's framed picture and looked back at her. They smiled at each other and kissed again, this time slower. She sucked his botton lip - God, she loved his lips! - as his hands reached her shoulder. He slipped off her coat and she shuddered slightly. Even more when he finally got to touch her skin. It felt like fire. Wherever he touched her, it felt like he discharged some sort of electricity that traveled from that single spot to every tip of her body.  
  
More, she wanted more of him.  
  
They broke their kiss to take off each other's shirts. Ross stared at her body as she knelt down next to him with her pants and bra on. Her stomach was so flat, her bellybutton so charming. The curves of her chest rose up and down quickly, due her heavy and shallow breathing. He looked into her blue eyes and smiled.  
  
"You never cease to amuse me"  
  
She smiled and kissed him again. This time, having his naked torso pressed up against her body felt even better. Her sweaty palms explored the muscles of his back untill they found their way down and then his belt. Meanwhile, she felt him unclasp her bra. She had to stop her quest on his jeans to slip that off. Before she could resume it, he gently pushed her down to lay with her back against the matress.  
  
His sheets were so smooth. As he began to kiss her shoulders, making his way down to her breats and stomach, she turned her face to a side and moaned. The sheets smelled good too. They smelled of Ross. Everything there was his. His scent, his lips, his tongue, his hands.  
  
None of the guys Rachel had been with before had been good with foreplay. Now that she thought about, it shouldn't really matter to them, anyway. It's not like there were deep feelings involved. But with Ross... No. This was not a mechanical act, not merely about a quick fuck or a way to canalise his feelings.  
  
This was about enjoying themselves. About showing how much they meant to each other and how amazing they could be together... And oh, amazing it was. Rachel was already craving for more. She'd never wanted someone inside of her so bad. And yet, she knew it wasn't just about the physical feeling. She opened her eyes and looked down at him as he kissed her stomach while unbuttoned her jeans. She couldn't believe how much she cared about him.  
  
After he slipped her jeans off, she rolled over to be on top of him. She kissed his lips, his chin, his neck and down his chest. All the while, Rachel couldn't believe that man laying down beside her, with such smooth skin and sexy forms had been her boyfriend this whole time. 'So many sides of him you haven't seen yet', she told herself.  
  
She took off his pants and dared to touch him. Ross closed his eyes and Rachel smiled. But she didn't want to tease him too much, she wanted him to last long. God, she wanted him to last long! He slid her panties off and as Ross turned to get the condom, she got rid of his boxers. After they were set to go, Rachel laid down and pulled him above her.  
  
He kissed her one more time, as if reassuring himself this is what they both wanted. She kissed him back and with one hand stroked the back of his head while the other stroked of of his butt cheeks. They smiled at each other and she nodded, turning her head to a side of the pillow.  
  
Ross guided himself inside of her slowly. He noticed as she squinted a bit.  
  
"You okay?" he whispered.  
  
"I'm fine, don't worry"  
  
He kissed her neck and burried himself deeper. In the midst if the disconforting feeling, Rachel still felt a faint pleasuring feeling and sighed. Ross smiled to himself and waited a few seconds without moving, letting her body get used to him. She moved both her hands to hug him and they kissed. As the kiss got more intense by the second, Ross pushed himself in and out of her.  
  
It had never been like that.  
  
Rachel couldn't explain what it was, she'd had that very same in-and-out routine before. Why has it never been like that? He seemed to be hitting this very interesting spot with much more force everytime he thurst harder and very soon she was moaning his name and pleading him for more.  
  
It didn't take too long untill both climaxed. Rachel first, quickly followed by Ross. He let his weight finally fall onto her body and she hugged him tight.  
  
"Hmmm, wow" she whispered into his ear.  
  
"I know"  
  
He rolled off of her, scared of hurting his girlfriend. She cuddled with him, wrapping an arm and a leg around him, with her face resting on his chest. He kissed the top of her head and she sighed, closing her eyes.  
  
So that's what it was like...!  
  
-------------------------------------------  
  
I'm expecting more reviews this time, people! So please post one! They make me happy and push me into writing. Pleeease!  
Now, about some stuff... The song, "Yellow", by Coldplay. I'm not sure about the lyrics...! This is not the song I wanted, actually. I wanted something by Jack Johnson, but I couldn't find a song that I was really satisfied with (because the lyrics didn't match, obviously)! These lyrics are also weird though, huh? Oh well, don't read too much into it! It's supposed to be a cute romantic song! The end! And I know there was no Coldplay when they were in college! Forget about that minor detail! 


	12. Author's note

Oh, I get really mad when authors write these things because I get the allert and I'm all excited and it turns out there's no new chapter written! So... I'm sorry if that happened to you, really (hm, yet somehow I feel like it is arrogant of me to assume that's what might have happened with you. Oh, anyway.  
I just felt like I owe you guys some explanations, since you've all been so great to me. I've just... not had the time, inspiration or anything else I might need to write lately. Life's been crazy. I'm finishing my finals tomorrow (wendsday), but then I'm going "home" on sunday and God knows when I'll be back. Probably mid January. I might finish this fic then. I got another idea for a new fic, but I probbaly won't write it untill I finish this. I don't think I'll be writing before that. I got so many things to do. And being here on the computer sometimes gives me a feeling that I'm not being productive. Even though I see writing not just as a good way of killing time.  
Anyway. Hope you understand. I'm still here, doing well and stuff. Just... busy.  
Mwah,

Tina Chaves 


	13. Chapter 12

And I Feel Home

by Tina

Okay, so before I go for "good", here's an installment. Just to celebrate the fact I'm finally free from college. Well, sure, it'll be back in february, but you know what I mean! Nothing too great, just a bit more stuff about the "past" to add a little "conflit". Hope you guys like it.

-------------------------

Ross and Rachel let the water run down their bodies as they allowed themselves to focus on nothing but that kiss. The soap had already been washed off, yet their hands still rubbed each other's body rythmically, sensually. Rachel backed herself to the cool shower wall and shivered in Ross' arms. They giggled and he moved his lips to her neck.

She finally allowed herself to think.

"Hm, what time is it?"

"About eleven, I think" he mumbled.

Rachel finally opened her eyes.

"Oh my God, your sister's gonna kill me"

She unglued herself from the wall and turned the water down, much to Ross' disapointment, clear in his eyes.

"Aw... So you're leaving already?"

"I kinda have to...! It's late and we still gotta drive back to Long Island"

"Well, you could sleep here" he commented with a perky smile.

She smiled back and wrapped her arms around his waist.

"Oh yeah?" he smiled and she gave him a peck on the lips. "And where exactly would I sleep?"

"I thought you could figure that out"

"But then where would you sleep?" she joked.

"Funny"

She kissed him again.

"Part of my charm, isn't it?"

He kissed her deeply.

"I mean it. Stay"

"But there's Monica"

"Hm, she could sleep here too"

"Do you really want her to walk in here and start lecturing you about the mess?"

Ross chuckled.

"It's a price to pay"

Rachel shook her head.

"Some other time, honey. There's my parents and your parents, Monica and... You'll be out of here soon and we'll have all the time in the world"

"Beware, I'll remember that promise"

She laughed.

"You better"

They stepped out of the shower together and lovingly shared a towel.

"Where do you think Monica and Chandler are right now?"

"They're probably down at the common room, we can go and meet them there"

"Oh, ok." she looked around. "I suppose it'd be a waste of my time if I asked if you guys have a blowdryer, right?"

------------------------------------

Rachel and Ross walked hand in hand into the common room. Rachel looked around curiously, that place looked rather familiar. A few couches, a t.v., arcade games, pool table,... and there were Monica and Chandler having something to eat in front of the t.v.. Rachel smiled, but before she could aproach and greet them, she noticed something in the thin air.

"Slut!" Rachel mumbled, with a wide smile on her face.

"I'm sorry?" Ross quickly questioned.

"Oh, no, nothing" she turned to him and put her hands on his chest, forcing him on another direction. "Let's sit down for a while, I'm tired"

He smiled at her and agreed. Rachel turned her head slightly to take another glance at Monica and Chandler. Yup, Monica was doing it right. Just the way she'd taught her! Rachel was practicly beaming with pride.

Ross threw himself over a red bean bag and pulled Rachel down to him. She squealed and giggled in his arms.

Hm, the bean bags... Yeah, she definitely remembered the bean bags.

"Have I been here before?"

Ross smiled coyly.

"You don't remember it, do you?"

"What?"

"You and Monica came over one night for this party we had and-"

"Oh my God!" she cut him, almost shouting. "That's where I remember Chandler from!"

"What do you mean that's where you remember from? You've seen Chandler many times before at my place"

"No, but that night, we made out" Rachel blunted out as if it was no big deal. However, the way Ross' body just seemed to freeze gave her the hint maybe there was something wrong with her statement.

"You did what?" he practicly whispered.

"We... we made out" Short pause "It was no big deal" she added.

Ross sighed indignantly.

"Right, right, no big deal... And I suppose what happened later that night meant nothing either"

She stared at him for a while, confused. It was hard to trace down that night, there was too much alcohol involved.

"What?"

"Nevermind"

He looked away and Rachel sighed. Damn it...! Why did something have to go and spoil their perfect evening? She picked up his hand.

"C'mon, sweetie, you don't want to be mad at me right now, do you? Please...!" she kissed his neck. "I seriously don't know what you're talking about, I was really drunk that night"

Ross looked at her, still a bit uneasy, but she kept on rubbing his hand and kissing his neck affectionately.

"Yeah, ok... It's not like I ever really expected you to remember it or even take it seriously, anyway"

"You've got me curious, now" she smiled at him.

He looked at her for a while and then looked down, embarassed.

"It's, it's silly..."

She squeezed his hand harder.

"It's not silly. Tell me"

He looked at her and shyly began.

"That night, after you were passed out on my bed... I went in there and uh... I went to kiss your forehead, but I accidentally got your lips"

She smiled at him.

"Did you?" He smiled back. "And did I kiss you back?" she asked rather excited, as if her knowledge of that past memory could somehow change history.

"Little bit"

She kissed his cheek.

"Must've been the alcohol" she joked. "And the habit!"

The smile he wore faded.

"And were those the same reasons why you made out with Chandler?"

She rubbed his hands.

"Yeah, Ross... I- I had no idea 'we' were ever going to happen... And, as I said, I was kinda drunk. It just happened." he just kept looking down. "I mean, is that okay?"

"It's just... it's weird." She could feel his eyes on her lips. "It's weird knowing you've kissed him before"

"It didn't mean anything, Ross"

"That just makes it even weirder"

Ross and Rachel sat together for a while and not a word was said. Rachel looked around just in time to see a familiar face enter.

"Carol" she mumbled.

"What?" Ross asked.

Rachel just motioned to the door and the second he laid his eyes upon her, she looked back at them. Much to his surprise, she smiled and waved. Ross shyly waved back.

Rachel sighed and stood up.

"Okay, I better get going now"

He looked at her for a while and then nodded.

"Okay"

They stood up and approached Monica and Chandler.

"Mon, we better get going"

"Oh, okay"

"Already?" Chandler's disapointed reaction made Racel smile just untill she noticed the expression Ross had on his face. It seemed Chandler was going to be getting an earful that night. Damn, why did she have to go and open her big mouth?

While Monica and Chandler said their goodbyes and talked about possible things to do when Chandler joined them the next weekend, Rachel grabbed Ross' hand and pulled him closer.

"Hey... I had a really wonderful time with you tonight" He remained silent, thought not looking hostile. "Don't let this spoil it, Ross, please. It's not worth mentioning this again. Let it go, please."

"If you're talking about Chandler, forget it. He's always known about my feelings for you, Rachel. I can't just-"

Rachel stepped foward and shut him up with a really good kiss. Slowly, he got into it and she pulled him close to her.

"Ahem" Monica cleared her throat.

Ross and Rachel broke apart and shot her a look.

"Better get going!" Monica repeated Rachel's words.

"Right"

She turned back to Ross again and kissed him softly.

"Take care"

"You too", he whispered.

Though the evening had been almost like a dream, the last bit of it couldn't stop haunting Ross.

--------------------------

Hmmm, sounds a it silly, but it's something. Reviews, please? :) 


	14. Chapter 13

And I Fell Home

by Tina

Ok, so I get home and tadah, there's a computer here. Yay. Yeah, it's been a while, but I haven't had the time, inspiration and most importantly the privacy to write. But right now I'm dying to write so screw all of those things :P Besides, I've had some ideas for this fic. I got to begin a new one (which I'm gonna start over 'cause I've had an idea for a better approach), but I really wanna finish this one first. So... here we go.

---------------

"You've already won me over in spite of me / And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet / Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are / I couldn't help it / It's all your fault"

Without noticing it, Rachel was following the song with whispers of the words she could remember. One hand was in her still humid hair while the other held on to the steering wheel. The smile ever present on her face.

"Your love is thick and it swallowed me whole / You're so much braver than I gave you credit for / That's not lip service / You are the bearer of unconditional things / You held your breath and the door for me / Thanks for your patience"

Hmm, it fit.

"You're the best listener that I've ever met / You're my best friend / Best friend with benefits / What took me so long"

"So... did you manage to do whatever it was that you wanted here?" Monica carefully asked, visibly too shy to approach the matter of sex, which she obviously knew that had been had.

Rachel turned to her and smiled.

"That and more"

Rachel giggled and Monica shot her a weird look.

"Ew, Rachel, he's my brother"

"Right, right..." Rachel still kept on smiling. "But here's a note for ya, Mon... Your brother's good" the emphasis Rachel gave to that last word made Monica playfully hit her on the head.

"Shut up!!"

Rachel giggled more.

"So, what's up with you and Chandler?"

"What?" Monica surprised, yet very much innocently, asked.

"Oh, c'mon, Mon, I taught you those moves!"

Monica blushed.

"I have no idea what you're talking about"

"Hey, Mon?"

"Yeah?"

Rachel turned to her and smiled truthfully.

"Go for it" Monica smiled back. "He likes you too"

"You think so?"

"I know so."

Monica and Rachel smiled at each other as the last few verses were sang... and Rache missed to sing them.

"I've never felt this healthy before / I've never wanted something rational / I am aware now / I am aware now..."

-------------------------

Rachel marked the last spot on her callendar to the day she'd been so long waiting for. Ross' arrival. Eversince the last time they'd seen each other, the number of phonecall had increased. Even though he seemed a bit paranoid at first, with all that story with Chandler, he'd gotten a lot better. And now he was finally coming over to spent Christmas and New Years with her. She sighed and looked at her watch. She should start getting ready soon if she wanted to look nice for lunch at the Gellers'.

My God, she missed him. She couldn't wait to see him again... to talk to him, hug him, kiss him and... other stuff too. She felt as this maybe this was becoming some sort of addiction. A nice, sweet and healthy addiction.

She had not felt this way before since Tony DeMarco. But this time it was different. So much different.

Tony had been her first real boyfriend, the first guy she actually cared about. It had been nice and Rachel looked back only with good memories to cherish. But it was different...! She was much too young back then and things were much simpler. With Ross, despite the awkward beginning and differences, they were growing into each other. Against all odds, they were an item that made sense, someway or another.

She took her time to pamper herself and by the time Monica opened the door for her at the Gellers' residense, there was not a single flaw in her appearance that could be spotted by her best friend.

"Looking nice"

Rachel blushed.

"Are they home yet?"

"No, Ross called from the road and said they had a problem with the car, but they should be home anytime now"

"Oh, ok"

They reached the livingroom and sat down on the couch.

"Have you talked to Chandler?"

Monica's weak smile faded.

"Not much. He's been sounding... weird since that other night." A short silence followed, as Monica looked lost in thoughts. "Do you think Ross talked to him??"

Rachel sighed. He could have... But not so much because of Monica. Yet, it might have disencouraged him to pursue her.

"I'll talk to him"

Monica smiled weakly.

"Thanks"

About half an hour later, the boys arrived. Both were covered in dark stains from fixing the car. Rachel barely seemed to notice it as she made her way across the room to welcome Ross. She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him.

"Hey"

"Hi" he smiled brightly at her. "Oh, shoot, I got you all dirty"

"Yeah, you got me all dirty" she purred right into his ear.

He laughed.

"No, no, your dress" he backed away as he noticed just how great was the damage he'd done. "I'm sorry"

Rachel quickly inspected it but shrugged away, moving closer to him again.

"Don't worry about it"

"Really?"

"Yeah, you'll take me out shopping tomorrow to get a new one"

He laughed.

"Okay"

They kissed one more time.

"Where are mom and dad?"

"They're having lunch at Kate's but said they'd be back as soon as they could. Said they couldn't get out of it"

"Oh, okay"

Ross said, protectively wrapping one arm around Rachel. She looked over to Chandler and noticed just how uncomfortable he looked. Poor guy... Monica also stood there uncertain to what to do next. A short silence followed and the tension got thicker and thicker. Rachel finally brushed a hand across Ross' stomach and kissed his neck.

"So, your parents not home, huh?" she whispered.

He smiled down at her.

"We'll have lunch later" he informed his sister and his friend as he walked away with Rachel.

"I've missed you..." she whispered.

"I've missed you too.. you have no idea how much"

They reached his room and closed the door after themselves. Rachel climbed on the bed and pulled Ross on top of her. They kissed. When Ross moved his lips from hers down to her neck, she softly opened her eyes and spotted the flying dinosaur replica hanging above his bed.

It was just staring at them.

It bothered her.

Sensing the way her body tensed up, Ross stopped kissing her.

"What's the matter?"

"That" she pointed to the ceiling.

"What about it?"

"I feel like it's watching us"

Ross chuckled.

"Ignore it"

He kissed her neck again. She closed her eyes softly and tried to enjoy it. But softly peek one more time.

"I can't"

He stopped kissing her and rolled off. Both stared at the ceiling, with their backs to the matress.

"It's been dead for millions of years, Rach. Actually, it's a replica, it's never even lived"

"Still"

"Would it help if I covered it up?"

She laughed.

"Maybe"

She turned to look at him and kissed his ear. Quickly they were kissing intensely again. He started getting carried away, figuring she was letting it go. But all it took was another quick glance.

"Yeah, yeah, cover it up"

He laughed and got up, a bit relutanctly. She sat up on his bed and smiled as she watched him atempt to cover his piece of decoration. And she took the time to look around his room more carefully. That was the first official time she'd been to his bedroom - disconsidering his dorm - as his girlfriend. He kept yet another picture of her on his bed side table and she smiled. They needed more pictures together. That's fine, they'd do it over the holidays, all nice dressed up for the ocasions.

She laid down and turned her atention to him again. He'd grabbed a towel and was trying to throw it over the dinosaur and wrap around it. So far, however, he was miserably failing his task.

It was fun watching him though. At one point she started giggling and he turned his atention to her.

"Oh, is this amusing?"

"Very much so"

He quickly got the towel and threw it lightly on her direction. She grabbed it and violently pulled him closer. He fell next to her and she giggled, leaning close to kiss him.

"You're stupid" she cooed.

"Well, as least I'm not scared of a fake dinosaur"

She shot him a look and playfully hit him.

"I'm not scared of it. I just don't wanna share this with anybody else"

"This isn't anybody else"

She hit him again.

"You know what I mean"

He kissed her lightly but she pulled him in for a deeper kiss.

"You're toying with me, Green"

She giggled and he went back to his mission. After a few more atempts, he managed. She cheared for him and he smiled.

"So I get a personal chear from the head cheadleader now?"

"You get anything from the head chearleader now..." he smiled and they kissed, laying back down to the matress. "Give me and R" He laughed and she giggled. "Give me an O"

They kissed.

"Hm, give me an S..." she whispered after they broke.

"Kids??" they heard his parents' call from downstairs.

Ross and Rachel imediately broke.

"Damn it" he mumbled.

Rachel laughed dispite her own clear disapoitment and kissed him on the cheek.

"I'll catch up with you later, Geller"

She got up from the bed, straightened herself up and left the room.

--------------------------------------------------------

OK, so this is rather short... but if I went on it would seem a bit weird 'cause I wanna skip some stuff so I won't ramble on too much. I wanna go right to the point because a lot is still gonna happen, so...! Reviews are very much welcome and I hope writing more very soon! :D

Song from the beginning is "Head over feet", performed by Alanis Morissette. It's edited :P


	15. Chapter 14

And I Feel Home

by Tina

--------------------------

Rachel watched the candle flames dancing slowly, almost exactly in the same rythm of the song that softly played on the background. One of the few romantic CDs Ross had mixed for her. The atmosphere was so calm and peaceful, she felt like she could almost float. She was so light... she could barely feel she even had a body.

His touch brought her back to physical reality. The way he ran a finger sofly up her arm made her so glad she did have a body...

He kissed her neck as she kept on admiring her bedside table. A set of four scented candles that rested there were the only light source in the room. It specially lit her picture frames. She smiled and finally closed her eyes, enjoying his lips and his naked body pressed up against her back.

They'd finally managed to be together again. Her parents were out to a gala and Rachel arranged things so both her sisters would be out that evening. The house was all theirs. Of course they were happy enough with the confinements of her four walls.

She turned her face and her lips found his.

Not many words had been spoken in a while. But it didn't matter. Nothing needed to be said then. The way they connected was far too developed to demand such trivial tools.

But as their hormonal driven passion was wearing off, they saw in each other a friend. A friend to talk to, to laugh with or, if it was the case, to stay quiet with, too. However, it wasn't the case anymore... As shallow as it could be labelled by some, the conversations they shared at intimate times like those were also a way to stablish contact and bring them closer. Not that they ever lost contact or were driven away, but the mere sound of each other's voice was... and the thoughts in their heads, sometimes so silly and confused...

So it wasn't necessary, but it was nice...!

Rachel smiled.

"Have you taken care of that dinosaur?" she barely whispered.

He laughed softly. She loved the sound of it...

"Should I, really?"

"Well, if you want more of this, I'd suggest that you do"

Ross kissed her shoulder.

"Then consider it done"

She smiled.

"I have do say, didn't care much for that poster staring down at us either" he commented, refering to a poster she kept near her bed.

She laughed.

"I hope that's now what you had in mind a few minutes ago"

"No, no, you kept me busy enough"

They kissed softly and rearranged themselves in each other arms. Rachel turned to face him and hugged his torso, laying her face on his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and laid his head on her pillow. Rachel Green's pillow. In Rachel Green's room. Even though they'd been together for a while now, this thought still amased him.

Hmmm, bliss.

Both closed their eyes and just enjoyed the simple moment.

Ross wondered if he should tell her what he'd known all along and time did nothing but confirm. This seemed like a good oportunity... Their relationship just kept getting better and better... And it seemed like she liked him even more as the days went by. Each day more he got used to the fact that this was really happening. Maybe if he seased the moment she'd even... say it back to him?

He looked down at floor and spotted the chearleading outfit she had not long before worn for him. It had been an amazing night...! Could this wreck it or give it the perfect ending?

"Rach?"

"Yeah?" her response was almost a whisper.

"Can I say something?"

"Sure"

Her eyes were still closed and she didn't move. He wondered for a moment. He wanted her to be looking into his eyes and see how honest his simple words would be. 'She must've heard this many times before.' But he doubted anyone meant them as much as he did. It just didn't seem possible.

He shifted her in a way that gave her the hint. She sat up and looked at him.

"You don't have to say it back... I just want you to know..."

"Yes...?"

"I love you"

She had to hold her breath.

Wow.

Yeah, she'd heard that before, but... This was different. Oh God, so much different.

Silence.

She started panicking when she noticed just how quickly the seconds were passing and she couldn't figure out what to say. Her brain couldn't process that information yet.

"Rach?" he whispered and she felt a hint of fear in his voice.

She loathed herself.

Words. She needed words. If only she knew which ones to say...

"Thank you" she whispered.

The disapointed look on his face stung her bad.

"Yo- you're welcome" he almost pathetically answered back.

Rachel mentally kicked herself, but didn't know what else to do.

Then, it seemed as if time stood still, everything froze.

'Goddammit...' Ross hated himself for opening up with her. It was obviously much too soon for them... she wasn't quite there yet. And now she was scared. 'Great, that's just fucking great what you've done!' he told himself.

It seemed like the realisation had finally hit Rachel. There were true genuine feelings at risk here. Feelings of a truly genuinely nice guy. Such a nice guy... How could she play him like that? After all, she had to admit it had all began more like a game. She didn't go after him for who he was. Not unless it counts the fact he was Judy and Jack's son. He was a Geller.

And the fact she now liked him only made it worse. She had developed so much for him. She cared so much about his feelings and she just knew she'd end up breaking his heart. That's what she did best after all, wasn't it? Wrecking guys with her imaturity. It was only a matter of time.

She noticed as he looked at his watch.

"I- I should get going"

"Okay.."

He got out of bed and quietly gathered his clothes and dressed himself. Rachel kept her gaze locked on the floor...

----------------------------

The next day was Christmas eve. Due their large families, the Greens and Gellers could not have the joint dinner Rachel wished they could. So Ross and Rachel would, together, celebrate with both families, one at a time. It had been arranged for a while now, Rachel had been counting the days with much excitment. But after the previous night... she was somehow dreading the thought of spending the evening with his caring family, knowing how bad she was beeing to a member of it.

Ross knocked on the main door of the Green residense at 8 o'clock sharp for the first round. Jill opened the door.

"Yes?"

"Hey, Jill, is, hm, is Rachel there?"

"Yeah." But she didn't open the door to let him in. "Who are you?"

"It's me, Ross. Ross Geller"

"Oh" Jill looked surprised. "Wow. Come in"

She opened the door and Ross looked around, nervous. Rachel had been over at his house and interacting with his parents a lot since they'd got together. He, on the other hand...

"Ross?"

"Goodnight, Mrs. Green"

"Wow, look at you" Sandra Green hugged Ross. "I haven't seen you in a while"

"Yes, it's been a while." he smiled politely. "You look great"

"Oh, thank you" Sandra smiled, delighted. "Rachel should be down in a second, meanwhile come in, let me take your coat" she did so. "Rachel's father is in the livingroom waiting for the guests"

Ross swallowed hard.

"Thank you"

Ross nervously entered the livingroom and found Dr. Green reading a book whilst waiting.

"Hm, goodnight, Dr. Green"

Ross almost shook himself to dust as Dr. Green slowly looked up at him and took off his reading glasses, inspecting every inch of him.

"Ross Geller, I suppose?"

"Yes, Dr. Green, how are you?"

"Fine." He slowly set his glasses down at a corner table as Ross continued to stand by the door. "Sit down already, will you?"

"Oh, hm, thanks"

'Cool off, my man' Ross told himself.

"So, what is it that you're doing again?"

"I'm in college, Sir. Am majoring in paleontology"

Dr. Green kept a steady glance at Ross for a few very long seconds.

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

Ross didn't know what to answer.

"Hm, it means that hm... I study fossils and-"

He would never be able to thank Rachel enough for showing up that exact moment. He instantly stopped himself and rose from his chair, relievedly smiling at her.

"Good night" he politely told her.

"Hey"

She approached him and he nervously kissed her cheek.

"Hey, daddy. Were you just giving Ross a hard time?"

"Eh..."

Dr. Green put his glasses back on and picked up his book. Ross sighed and Rachel looked back at him. They looked at each other for a while and seemed to both think about the previous night. And both could tell. He picked up her hand and lightly played with it.

"Can we talk?"

She nodded.

They entered the dining room, already set for their fancy Christmas dinner, and kept the door open.

"If I close this my dad will kill you dead..." she explained.

He couldn't help but smile.

"Better not tell him about last night, then..."

She couldn't help but smile.

"Hm, anyway... I just want you to know, Rach, that... what I said to you last night... I'm not expecting anything from you. I just wanted you to know, that's all."

She nodded.

"Okay"

"So... are we good?"

"Yeah"

"Good...! 'Cause I couldn't sleep last night thinking about it"

He hugged Rachel and she just felt worse. Man, if he couldn't sleep afer that, how the hell was he going to react when she really screwed up bad?

She disconsidered the fact that she didn't get much sleep herself.

-----------------------------------

The midnight bell rang. Over at the Gellers' casual and warm party, everybody greeted one another. Rachel felt particulary touched when Judy Geller hugged her and whispered soft words in her ears.

"...you're like the daughter I've never had..."

Leaving Monica's feelings aside, it was a very sweet thing to hear. But probably not what she wanted at the moment.

Rachel was showered with presents from all family members. Clothes, acessories, cute little things and even jewelry. When she opened her last present from Ross, her heart sank lower. It was a pretty little bear keychain. It was white and in its belly it read "Ross 'red heart' Rachel".

"Thank you" she still smiled weakly at him and kissed him softly, as the relatives pretended not to watch.

They sat down together on a couch and Rachel kept the keychain tight inside her hand. He wrapped an arm around her and kept on talking to a cousin, while Rachel looked straight ahead, deep in though. She finally snapped out of it and saw Monica and Chandler talking. She smiled weakly and Monica noticed, smiling back brightly.

Rachel sighed and moved her eyes away from them...

They reached Charlie.

------------------------------------

Tan-tan. I liked this chapter. My favorite so far, I think. Please post reviews...!!! :) I'm expecting more this time, lol... 


	16. Chapter 15

And I Feel Home

by Tina

----------------------

"...gonna make a mistake, gonna do it on purpose, gonna waste my time..."

Rachel was lying on her bed that afternoon. She had planned on spending as much time as she could with Ross that holliday break, but... after the little 'I love you' incident it seemed like ignoring his existence seemed like a good way to avoid conflicts. The thoughts in her head were too conflicting as it was.

"...I'm gonna fuck it up again, I'm gonna do another detour,  
Unpave my path..."

The phone rang and Rachel very much feared it was Ross. She had run out of excuses...

"Hello?"

"Rach?"

"Hey Melissa" Rachel almost sighed with relief.

"So, what are you doing tonight?"

"Nothing, I think"

"Not going out with your boyfriend?"

"I don't know, why?"

"Just wondering. There's a party down at the Sigma Pi and all the Kappa Kappa Deltas have been invited. Are you coming?"

"Sure"

"Ok, you just need to call Adam and give him your boyfriend's name to put it on the list. It's gonna be a bit of a VIP party, you know how the SPs can be...!"

"Actually, I don't think Ross is gonna come. It's not really his thing"

"Well, okay then!" there was a weird enthusiam in Melissa's voice, which Rachel decided to ignore. Melissa did not belong to Rachel's group of friends who judged Ross. "Can you come and pick me up?"

"Sure"

"Ok, I'll see you at nine, then?"

"Sure thing, see ya"

Rachel hung up and sighed. A nice sorority party would be a good way to clear her head a bit.

The phone rang again.

"Hello" Rachel picked it up instantly.

"Hey"

Rachel didn't know what to say, for some reason she had forgotten it could be him.

"Hey Ross, what's up?"

"Nothing, really..." Rachel looked down at the soothing sound of his voice. "What are you doing today?"

"Actually... I just got a call from a friend and as it turns out I had promised her I'd go to this thing wih her, so..."

"Oh, okay"

Slight silence.

"Sorry"

"That's okay, if you promised.." he assured her.

She looked down.

"Ok, so I'll talk to you later"

"Yeah, okay. Bye"

She took a while to answer. Before she could, he hung up. She looked down and hung up aswell.

"...I've acquired quite a taste For a wellmade mistake I wanna mistake, why can't I make a mistake?"

---------------------------------

Rachel and Melissa entered the party. Melissa didn't waste much time before she reached the first waiter and grabbed two glasses of wine. She handed one to Rachel, who accepted it without giving it much thought. Her eyes were too busy scanning the room. Everybody was dressed up nice. The Sigma Pi parties were usually fancy and more quiet. They were known for their matchmaking purpose. Many long therm relationships had started on those.

The light was dimmed, everybody was nicely dressed. They all just drank wine, never overdoing themselves. The purpose was merely to loosen themselves. And look classier.

Before she noticed her glass was already empty, Melissa handed her a new one. Rachel smiled back, silently thanking her. Melissa smiled wider.

"So... who's coming?"

"Well, I don't know, really.." Melissa looked around. "I know Adam's around and he's bringing Janet. Can you believe they've been dating for 7 months already?"

"Right..."

"Alyssa said she was coming with David and she had him bring a friend of his and they're double dating with Heather, who finally agreed to that setting up Lyssa's been trying to force on her." Melissa sipped the rest of her glass' content. "Guess she's been sick of being lonely"

Rachel sighed.

"There they are"

Two couples could be spotted sitting around, in pairs.

"Hey, girls"

Rachel startled.

"Jesus, Nick, you scared me!"

He shrugged.

"Sorry"

Melissa shot him a look.

"What do you want?"

"Nothing, Jeez! Refill?" he offered them a bottle.

"Sure" Rachel outstretched her glass.

"So, what's up with you girls?"

"Not just, we just got here." Melissa replied. "Just couples here I suppose?"

"Seems like it" he answered. "Guess I'm just gonna drink my frustration away"

Rachel smiled.

"I'll join ya!"

"What happened to your boyfriend? Troubles in paradise?"

She had to chuckle at the way he questioned her.

"Something like that"

"Alright, then welcome!"

She emptied her glass with quick and heavy swallows and lifted her glass up to him again.

-----------------------------

Rachel closed the door to the bathroom with reasonable difficulty. She held on to the mable sink and walked over to the wall supporting herself. Everything was spinning.

She'd been much drunker before, but this time... There was something different about it. She closed her eyes and sighed.

With her legs widely open apart, she found enough balance to splash her face gently, careful not to mess up with her make up, and left.

Melissa was nowhere to be seen. But Rachel chuckled outloud when she spotted Nick pathetically sitting on a couch by himself. He had a goofy grin on his face, as if something very amusing was happening. But there was no one around.

'Damn it, he's worse than me' Rachel thought.

"Hey!" Rachel sat down next to him.

"Hi!" he turned to her with the same expression. Rachel laughed.

"What's so amusing?"

He giggled.

"I'm drunk"

Rachel giggled with him.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah"

"Me too!"

They laughed. There was something so hillarious about that...!

"Ahhh.." Rachel leaned back on the couch and relaxed, closing her eyes. This was nice. Nothing to worry about...

"You know, Rach..."

"What?"

She opened her eyes and looked at Nick.

"I've always found you very atractive"

She smiled.

"Really?"

"Yeah..." he sighed, smiling at her. "But I've always, you know, thought you were way out of my league"

He tenderly touched a trend of her hair.

"You're so cute.." she cooed.

"Am I?" he chuckled.

She nodded, adoringly.

"Hmhum"

"Yeah, ok, Rachel Green thinks I'm cute"

Rachel laughed.

Nick carefully put a hand on her waist, still grinning like a 5 years old boy.

"Okay, so I think you're atractive and you think I'm cute... I guess we could work with that as a beginning" he whispered into her ear, keeping himself very close to her.

She just kept on laughing.

He planted a kiss on her neck and she rested a hand on his own waist.

"I don't know..." she smiled at him. "Maybe"

He smiled back and leaned to kiss her, but she turned away, giggling. Instead, he kissed her neck again. Both laughed.

But then she put her hands on his chest and pushed him away a bit. She couldn't tell just why, she was too ditzy to think. It just seemed like the thing to do. She smiled at him and shook her head.

"Sorry, Nick... I..." she trailled off. "Sorry"

He sighed.

"That's fine"

They leaned back on the couch and he drank more of his wine that had been momentarily cast away. Rachel looked around and saw Melissa looking at them. The look on her face showed she had witnessed the whole thing. Rachel smiled embarassed and motioned for Melissa to join them.

"Hey Rach?"

"Yeah?"

"Could I talk to you in private, for a moment?"

"Sure... Just... Help me up here, will ya?" Melissa helped Rachel getting up. "We'll be right back" she informed Nick.

They left to a balcony.

"So, what's up?" Rachel cooly asked.

Melissa kept staring at her for a while. Before Rachel could repeat her question, Melissa walked over her and kissed her lips.

'Oh my God!' Rachel thought. She pulled away.

"What are you doing??"

Rachel's cellphone started ringing. Through Melissa's reply, Rachel brownsed her purse to find it. She was much too drunk and confused to suceed either task.

Eventually, she found her cell and saw Ross' name flashing on the screen. It was, now, relieving for some reason and she picked it up disregarding the fact Melissa was still talking. In fact, she was pouring out her heart, confessing her atraction to her friend.

"Hello?"

"Rach?"

Rachel froze. His voice sounded way too depressing.

"What happened, sweetie?"

"Could you come over?"

"What's wrong?"

"It's- it's my parents"

"What about them?"

"I think they're splitting up"

A wave of emotions washed over Rachel. Left her livid.

"What?!"

"Can you come?"

"I'll be right over, see you in a sec"

"Thank you"

"Bye" she whispered.

She flipped her cell shut and looked at Melissa, who had stopped babbling. Rachel stood there, silent, for a few seconds.

"I gotta go"

Rachel ran inside. Melissa followed her.

"What, wait, what happened?"

"I gotta get to Ross'"

"Now??"

"Yeah"

Rachel retrieved her purse.

"But you can't drive, Rachel, you're too drunk"

"I don't have a choice, I gotta go"

"No, Rachel!!"

Rachel ran to the front door, but Melissa didn't give up.

"I won't let you go and hurt yourself"

"What, will you drive me there?"

"Well, I don't have a lisence..!"

"Then see ya!"

"Wait, we'll call you a cab!"

"It'll take too long to get here, I gotta go NOW!"

"Then someone else will take you!"

"Goddamn it, Melissa, who??"

"Me"

They turned to look.

"Mindy?"

Mindy innocently smiled and waved.

"Hey... I can drive you there, if you want"

Rachel's mind raced.

"Ok"

----------------------------------------------------

Hm, I should be posting a new chapter tomorrow and then I'll spend a few days out of town ;) Yeah, baby, going to this beach for a while. Meanwhile... hope you all have had good Xmas and New Years! Wish you all the best in 2005.  
Please, post reviews...!!! :D

Oh, and I've been trying not to use cell phones and stuff in the fic to make it seem like it could have happened in the 80's, but... I couldn't help it. And that pretty much flew out the window after Ross sang Coldplay and Rachel Alanis :P

AND music from the beginning's called "A Mistake", by Fiona Apple. Love her. 


	17. Chapter 16

And I Feel Home

by Tina

OK, before we begin, a few notes... first, Rachel did not kiss Nick on the previous chapter. I know how what she did might still be considered very wrong by some, but she pushed him away before they even got to kiss. I was that nice to Rachel's alibi. lol. Second... It was never said Mindy and Rachel actually kissed. Was it? I mean, it said Mindy taught her how to kiss, but you can do that verbally, can't you?

Oh well... I know the whole Jack and Judy thing was weird, but I'll develop more of it now. I was also aprehensive about that storyline, but I guess it might get by. It's just important to the story, I think. Anyway, here we go.

--------------------------------

Rachel looked out the window and madly shook her leg. She felt Mindy's eyes glance at her and stopped. She was clearily showing just how nervous she was. But she couldn't help it.

She started biting her nails.

"You'll regret that later" Mindy was the one to break the silence.

Rachel stopped as a little innocent girl who tried to cover up, as if she wasn't doing anything.

She kept on looking outside, at the buildings that passed by, the people, the lights. She was still rather dizzy, but her concern for her boyfriend and his family brought her down to Earth. Damn, she wanted to be there as fast as (un)humanly possible to comfort him and find out what the hell was going on. This couldn't be happening. Not to Judy and Jack.

Rachel was actually beginning to question her own sanity. Maybe it was the alcohol. Ross must'd said something different but her brain was too messed up to process the information correctly.

'Yeah, that must've been it.'

Hm, who was she kidding?

"You really do like him, don't you?"

Rachel turned and looked at Mindy. She took a while to answer it. Not because she didn't know the answer already. She just pondered whether Mindy deserved hearing such heartfelt confessions from her, those days.

"I do"

Mindy sighed.

"I'm sorry about the other day"

"That's..." Rachel didn't know what to say. She was still mad about it, but what was she to do? She was tired for arguing... She just wanted one thing less to worry about in her mind. "That's fine, Mindy. Here, turn on the next one to the right"

"Ok"

Rachel quickly gathered her things and ran a hand through her hair one more time as a wave of dizziness reached her yet again.

"It's that house over there" Rachel pointed. Mindy pulled over and Rachel quickly left, looking back just to say goodbye. "Thanks a lot, Mindy. Bye"

Mindy smiled weakly back and watched Rachel leave.

Rachel ran up to the front foor. She took a deep breath and rang the bell. After a few seconds, Monica opened it. The girls just looked at each other for a couple of seconds. They broke the distance between them by hugging. Monica wasn't crying, but she was wearing the saddest look Rachel had even seen on her face.

"How are you?"

"Holding up"

They broke and Rachel stroked Monica's hair.

"He's upstairs" Monica simply told Rachel.

Rachel looked into the livingroom and spotted Chandler in there, obviously waiting for Monica. Rachel hugged her one last time and kissed her hair. She didn't have to say anything.

Silently, she made her way upstairs. When she finally stood outside Ross' room, she leaned on the door and closed her eyes. She felt so guilty, so low. But she was there to make it alright. To try and be the person he deserved. She so wanted to be the person he deserved...!

She softly knocked.

"Come in" it pained her to hear just how sad his voice was.

She slowly opened the door. He was lying on his bed, guitar on his arms.

When he saw her, she noticed how he managed to smile, even if it didn't look too happy.

"Hiii" he cast away the guitar.

"Hey" she whispered back, smiling a bit.

"Come here"

She aproached the bed and sat down next to him. He turned to face her and they kissed softly. They kept looking at each other for a while. As if their eyes were doing the talking for them.

"Have you been drinking?"

She raised a hand to her lips, self-conscious.

"Just some wine..."

"Oh"

She came closer to him and they cuddled, leaning against the headboard.

"So... tell me what happened"

"It's... hard to explain, really. They didn't say anything to us, but there was some shouting and dad left with a suitcase. Mom's been locked up in their room ever since. They'd told us he had a business trip to go to, but please... " he shook his head.

"But they..." Rachel trailled off. "I mean, how could this happen to them? I never thought they... had problems or anything"

"I know. Me neither"

Ross looked down. Rachel lifted his chin.

"Maybe this was just a misunderstanding."

Ross kept looking at her and she could tell he didn't believe so. But he still nodded, just to please her.

"Maybe"

God, she would do anything to make him feel better. She tenderly rested a hand on his cheek and kissed the other.

"It's gonna be okay"

They hugged each other and laid down on his bed. Minutes went by. Silent minutes so full of understanding, of supporting. All they needed was each other's presense. That was enough.

Rachel ran a hand up his stomach and chest, watching it as it rose with his breathing. It fell. Then it rose again.

She reached higher up to his neck and found him looking down at her. She moved her head and laid it on his pillow, right next to his. She couldn't help but smile. Inappropriate, but...

"Can I tell you something?"

"Sure" he replied, looking at the way her hair shone in many different shades under the weak lights of his lamps.

"I love you"

He looked straight at her, surprised.

"You don't have to say it back" she joked.

He chuckled.

"Whoa, I-" he didn't know what to say.

"Sweeps you off your feet, doesn't it?" she sincerely told him. And he understood what she meant. She might've been freaked out on a good way the past few days... She loved him too. It was just a lot to digest.

He nodded.

"It does."

"It's the first time I mean it. I'm a bit freaked out...!"

"Me too."

He leaned closer and kissed her a bit deeper than before. She knew he'd definitely know just how much she'd had to drink then. The alcohol taste was hidden in every corner of her mouth and she was a bit... clumsy... kissing him. But he didn't say anything. After they broke, they just kept on cuddling, cherishing that moment.

And she knew that was where she wanted to be. Just by his side, helping him through his days. And she so wanted him to be there for her too. After a hard long day, bad news or just PMS. He'd make it all better.

Despite their families. She loved him as a singular person. The rest was extra gaign.

---------------------------------------------

Her head was pouding madly as she softly opened her eyes the next morning. She barely had enough strengh to do such simple act. She let them inspect the room. It was dark, Ross had aparently shut all the drapes and doors. And was no where to be seen. She turned around and closed her eyes again.

'Hang overs suck.'

The previous night came rushing into her mind. The party, the drinking, the flirting, Melissa's kiss. His phonecall.

God, she'd need to pick up her car and come up with a really good excuse to why she didn't come home or even call before to tell her parents. And his parents... What was gonna happen to them now?

Hm, the 'I love yous'...

She smiled softly.

They'd spent the whole night talking. He'd opened up to ber, she'd opened up to him. Well, more than she'd ever done with anyone before, anyway. She'd never been more honest before. Or willing to listen to someone else. It's always been about her, the rest was plain boring. But... not him. She was interested on him. What he thought and how he felt was important too. It mattered, now.

The door opened slowly and she turned to watch who it was. Her hearing was oversensitive that morning. It was Ross.

"Goodmorning" he whispered.

"Morning" she motioned for him to join her. He did so. She wrapped her arms around him. "You might aswell wanna hide for the next few days, my dad must be furious 'cause I didn't come home last night"

"Oh, about that. After you fell asleep last night, I had Monica call your mom and tell her you were sleeping over."

Rachel smiled.

"She did?"

"Well, figured they wouldn't be too pleased if I called them myself. Plus, it was really late."

"Smart"

They smiled at each other and kissed softly.

"How's your mom?"

"Acting as if nothing had happened. She's making a stack of pancakes downstairs, so if you're in the mood for breakfast..."

"Nah... I feel sick"

Ross protectively held her and kissed her forehead.

"Just some wine, huh?"

She chuckled.

"Right..."

They were in silence for a while, nestled in each other arms again, as if that wasn't what they'd just done the previous night.

"We should decide what we're gonna do for New Years" she commented.

He smiled at the way she said "we".

"As long as we're together..."

She giggled and broke their embrace to ruffle his hair.

"You're so adoringly corny"

"It's why you love me" he smiled at her.

"It is..." she felt so pathetically in love with him... but it was such a nice feeling.

They kissed softly.

"Seriously, what are we gonna do?" she tried again.

"Well, I don't know..." he looked down. "Guess the anual Geller party's off now" he looked down and she supportingly took his hand. He looked up at her and tried to look more upbeat. "That may be for the best though, I'm sure you wouldn't stand both Monica and I watching Dick Clark's New Year's Rocking Eve"

She smiled weakly at him.

"I guess you're right"

Silence filled the room for a while.

"Well, there are a few parties we could go to..." she offered.

"Such as?"

Rachel looked aprehensive.

"Well, a few of my friends are throwing big parties and invited us. We could go if that's okay with you" He looked unwilling. "You said as long as you with me..."

"I did say that, didn't I?"

"You did" she smiled. "But that's okay, we don't have to go if you won't be comfortable" she smiled weakly at him. "I just wanted them to see you and understand why I love you"

He smiled at her. How could he deny anything to her?

"Okay, then I guess we're going"

"Really?"

"Wouldn't want to be the one to deprive such pleasure to your friends"

She laughed.

"Right"

She kissed and hugged him. Her so called friends would eat their words. Mindy had probably spread the news that they were all supposed to be okay with it now and being the little puppies they were Rachel knew they'd smile, be nice and aprove. Their friends had mastered the nodding along technique. It was a pre-requirement to be a part of their little group.

--------------------------------------

Ok, yeah... a day later than I thought this would be posted, but that's fine because my trip has also been post-ponned on a day. I'll be leaving tomorrow morning, yay. Wish me a good time, will ya? lol 

This part... I don't know, yay for the RRness More to come when I come back. End should be approaching too and I'm confused as to what fic to write next. Many options. Man, you won't get rid of me any time soon Thanks for being so great and please post more reviews!!

P.S. Thank you Vero who posted last chapter for me!!! and this one too!! 


	18. Chapter 17

And I Feel Home

by Tina

-------------------------

Rachel moaned his name as quietly as she could one last time and finally colapsed on top of him. Beads of sweat were led by gravity, running down a very inviting path down her body. He kissed the saltiness off her shoulder and moved his hands from the retreat they'd found on her ass protectively up around her waist. Their breathing took a long time to be recomposed. They were physically exausted.

Never had she been so active in the love making act before. It now amazed her how much she craved for him, participated and wanted him to feel good too. It seemed only fair after all the wonderful things he'd make her feel.

"Wow" she whispered into his ear.

He smiled and kissed her shoulder again.

"I know..."

She kept lying on top of him. Looking up, she smiled.

"Glad you took that thing from up there now, huh?" she said refering to his dinosaur replica that used to hang above his bed and which she refused to have sex in front of.

He laughed and she kissed his chest.

"Lucy will just have to get used to her new home at the closet"

They laid like that for a while longer, enjoying the oportunity to be alone like that. Naked, shamelessly spread around his bed after amazing sex. Just recomposing and trying to deal with just how much they loved each other.

Monica was out with Chandler, Rachel didn't ask for more information. Judy was playing bridge with her housewive friends and Jack was still out on his "business" trip. It was the 30th and Ross and Rachel had not much else to worry about.

"So, have you decided on the New Years?" he questioned her.

"I don't know... What's Chandler doing, by the way?"

"Party down at 'Aloha'" he said distantly, more concerned with stroking her hair.

"Really?" Rachel smiled. "That's where Monica's going"

She felt as he ceased his actions.

"Is it just me or have they been spending an awful lot of time together?"

Rachel chuckled and promped herself up to softly kiss him.

"You're so cute!" she cooed, refering to his naivety.

Before he could protest, she kissed him again, deeper.

"Ok, I have to make a call" she informed after they broke. "May I?" she motioned over to the phone.

"Go ahead"

She dialed Mindy's number and laid back above her boyfriend. While she waited for Mindy to pick up, she found entertainment in the well perfumed curves of his neck. She loved them so much.

"Hey, Min? Hi, it's Rachel" she replaced her lips with her hands as she talked to Mindy, but still with her eyes fixated on Ross'. "I'm fine and you? ... Oh, Good. Listen, New Years, what party do you recommend? ... Yeah, Ross and me." she smiled even more. "He's good too. In fact, he's lying beneath me as we speak"

Ross got a panicked look on his face and Rachel giggled.

"Yeah, now he's blushing, he's so adorable" she quickly leaned foward and kissed his lips softly. "Alright, focus, where are you girls going? ... Ben's, really? ... Oh yeah, that was pretty cool. ... Yeah, ok, so I guess that will be it. ... Ok, I'll see you there then. ... Ok, bye, see ya!"

------------------------

Ross and Rachel stepped into the party at 10:30. It was a large house on the edge of a lake, Rachel informed Ross it must've been rented. Everything was well decorated, white and golden baloons filled every room. Waiters passed by every second with galons of champaign. Much too fancy, but Ross thought he could get used to it as long as he had Rachel by his side.

The minute they entered, Mindy approached with a guy by her side. Rachel well knew him. Barry. Their parents had been hoping to set them up for a while, but it never seemed like a good time for both. Rachel was glad for that now.

"Rach, hi, you look gorgeous!"

They hugged.

"Thank you, so do you"

They broke.

"Oh, Barry, you remember Rachel"

"Yeah, hey Rach"

They merely shook hands.

"And this is Ross" Rachel took over. "Mindy, you remember Ross"

Rachel smiled at the clear surprise on Mindy's eyes as she greeted him.

"Barely" she managed to say, awestruck.

Ross placed his arm back around Rachel's waist. She covered his hand with hers.

"I'm gonna go get some drinks with the guys" Barry informed Mindy, who nodded. "You wanna come, Ross?" Barry's tone was rather careless, but either way they all knew he was just asking it out of politeness.

Ross tightened his grasp on Rachel's hand.

"No, thanks, I'm good."

"Well, okay, then"

Barry left. Ross, Rachel and Mindy stood together for a while, in silence.

"So, tell me! How did this happen?" Mindy suddenly sounded upbeat.

Ross and Rachel looked at each other, smiling.

"I don't know, it just... did" she replied.

"But how? I mean... I don't wanna sound offensive or anything, it's just that it seemed sudden to us all. Was there like a process or did he do something that made you look at him differently, or...?"

Rachel smiled and turned to look at Ross again. She could read in his eyes that he was curious himself. He too was aching for that answer.

"Well..." Rachel began. "It was a process, I think... I guess with time I just started paying more atention to things and I realised I wasn't happy with what I had. And that realisation made me wonder what should be my priorities in order to get what I'd really be happy with. And... I started getting closer to Monica again and Ross was there and... you know" Ross nuzzled his nose against Rachel's neck and she giggled.

"You should have seen the night we first got together though" Rachel laughed.

Ross chuckled, embarassed.

"Why, what happened then?"

"Well... I started flirting with him so he'd make a move, but he didn't get my messages" Mindy giggled. "At the end I was practicly spelling it out for him that I wanted him to kiss me"

Mindy giggled harder.

"You don't know the rules of flirting?"

"Is there a manual?" he questioned.

"They're very basic, c'mon" Mindy began. "You know, eye contact" Mindy ponctuated it with a provocative glance "playing with your hair" she played with her hair "touching" Mindy touched his arm. "Uh, someone's been working out" she said, flirty, as if exposing another exemple.

"Okay-okay" Rachel made Mindy let go of him. "I think he got it"

Ross chuckled.

"Sorry" Mindy laughed.

"I'm gonna get a drink, does anybody else want one?" Rachel asked.

"I'll get it for you. What do you want?" he offered.

"Coke, if they have it... If not, wine's fine"

Ross nodded.

"Mindy?"

"No, nothing for me, thanks"

"I'll be right back, ladies"

Ross left and Rachel followed him with her stare.

"Wow, he really has changed!"

"I told you"

"He's funny and cute and-"

"...taken" Rachel shot her a playful look.

Mindy laughed.

"No, yeah, I know what you mean..." Rachel sighed, dreamy. "And can I tell you something else?"

"What?" Mindy curiously asked.

"Best sex I ever had"

Rachel giggled.

"Really?" Mindy doubtfully asked.

"Oh my God...!"

"Better than Pete?!"

"Please!"

"Even better than that Billy guy??"

"Hm, so much"

"Wow... who'd say?"

"Not me" Rachel shook her head. "And you know... it's not just that..." Rachel didn't even care for the fact she was babbling. She just wanted to declare her love for that boy to whoever was willing to hear. "He's my friend too. We talk for hours... He gets me, I get him, I care so much about him..." She sighed. "I love him"

"Aw" was all Mindy managed to say.

"Here it is, Miss"

Ross came back and handed Rachel her drink. She smiled at him and kissed his cheek.

Midnight approached soon. The countdown was cheary, but Rachel couldn't wait till it ended. She'd begin a brand new year, hopefully much better than the previous ones, with the man she loved kissing her. It'd be wonderful.

3... 2... 1...

"Happy N-"

Before Ross could finish wishing her a "Happy New Year", she locked her lips on his. He wasn't about to complain.

They savoured each other lips and tongue for a long time before they broke. When they did, words weren't necessary. She nodded to him and he nodded to her, leaning closer for another slow kiss.

"Happy new year, love birds!"

They broke and faced a large group lead by Mindy. One by one they hugged and shared sweet wishes. If only you could tell which ones were real...

In the midst of the comotion, she spotted Nick on the corner of her eyes, standing in a corner and drinking by himself. She looked to her other side and saw Ross surrounded by her girl friends. They were telling him to watch out for Rachel, to treat her well and how wonderful she was.

Rachel sighed, but thought Ross could handle them for a couple of minutes. She smiled at his will to do this merely to please her and approached Nick.

"Happy New Year!!"

He shifted his glance from the floor and smiled weakly as he saw her.

"Or just New Year"

"C'mon, chear up! Come here!"

They hugged. After a while, they broke.

"So, that's your boyfriend?"

"Yup, that's him... Ross"

They looked at each other for a while, Rachel still smiling.

"Troubles in paradise gone then?"

"Pretty much..."

Nick nodded.

Ross looked around and didn't see Rachel.

"Where did Rachel go?" he asked Mindy.

"Oh, she's just right there talking to Nick"

"Oh"

Ross stood there and watched them. He couldn't help but feel a hint of jealousy at the way he was looking at her. Specially because it wasn't simple atraction and he knew it. 'This guy must really like her.' It was just the way he used to look at her.

Loving. Sweet. Contained.

Just about to burst.

"Who uh, who's that?" Ross tried to ask cooly.

"That's Nick"

"Is he uh, really good friends with Rachel?"

Mindy looked at him and seemed to notice his jealousy.

"Kind of. One would say more than that, though"

Ross turned to look at her.

"What? Why?"

"Just the way they were touching and hugging the other night didn't seem just friendly to me"

Mindy paused and looked at the glass of champaign on her hands.

"Ooopsie, think I might have said too much. I blame it on the drinks"

Mindy left. Ross turned to stare at Rachel and Nick again.

Rachel's eyes met his.

She smiled at him and waved.

-------------------------------------------------------

Hm, yeah, I'm back, it seems. Lots of plans for this fic and for a new one I might be beginning soon. Very soon. Just fluff, really. My net's been sucky though, so you never know. You wouldn't believe how we (Vero and I) posted last chapter! hah! Thanks again, girl ;)

Now I should go... reviews??? 


	19. Chapter 18

And I Feel Home

by Tina

---------------------------

She smiled as if there was nothing going on. A simple and genuine smile, one of those caring sweet ones she'd smile just for him. He was overreacting. He had to be. How could he even consider believing Mindy for a fraction of a second?

He smiled back.

She gestured for him to approache. With the bigest smile on his face, he did.

She was making this so easy... He never knew how to act around these people, but she was making it all happen so naturally. Treating him like a king in front of her friends... Now they were welcoming him with open arms, as if they'd never humiliated him back in school. He knew it was a sick and shallow game, but if you're in to play it, better be on the winning team.

"Hey"

"Nick, I want you to meet Ross. Ross, this is my friend Nick"

"Nice meeting you" Ross said as they shook hands.

"You too"

Rachel's hand slided across his sides untill she was holding him by his waist. Ross smiled down at her and put one arm around her shoulders.

"I'll catch up with you guys later" Nick's voice was numb.

Rachel nodded.

"Nice meeting you"

Nick nodded along aswell.

"Yeah, you- you too"

He left.

Rachel softly kissed Ross.

"Enjoying the party?"

"Amazingly enough, yeah"

She smiled.

"Ready to be by yourself?"

"Don't you dare!"

Rachel laughed.

"Just testing you. And I really wouldn't dare..." Rachel looked around. "See the way those girls over there are looking at you?"

Ross turned and saw a group of four young beauties shamelessly looking at them.

"Hmm, on a second thought, a little time by myself wouldn't hurt" he joked.

Rachel playfully hit him.

"Don't even joke about it!"

Ross laughed and pulled her closer, kissing her full on the lips.

"Your friends don't cease to amuse me, you know?"

"I can imagine..."

"I mean, just now Mindy was telling me these things about you to get me jealous"

"What?!" Rachel looked at him straight into his eyes, indignatly. "What did she say?"

"She said something about you and that Nick guy acting more than just friendly at this other party."

The way she tensed up and stopped smiling worried him.

"She told you what?"

Ross nervously chuckled.

"What? It's no big deal, I know you wouldn't do that to me"

Rachel was silent. Damn, what was she supposed to say? She didn't want to hurt him, but she never ever wanted to have to lie to him again.

"...right?" He also went serious. "Rachel, what- Did uh, did something happen? Did you and Nick...? What??"

"Nothing happened!!" she snapped. Then she sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "Not really, I mean.."

She went silent.

"Rach..?"

"We didn't even kiss, ok? I was drunk and-"

"Wow, wait. When did this happen?" She fell silent. She knew he was smart enough to figure that out. "It was that- that night? That night you told me you..? THAT night?"

She nodded. He looked around frustated, rage and humiliation filling him.

"At a fucking party with all your friends watching, Rachel?? And now they're just watching me and thinking I'm the clown you're fucking up on your spare time??"

"What?" Rachel was taken aback by his reaction. "Ross, it's not like that, I'm telling you nothing happened!"

"You were messing around with someone else the night you told me you loved me, Rach. You know what that does? It takes away the meaning of everything you told me from that moment on. Actually, you know what? It takes away the meaning of everything you've ever told me!"

Rachel approached him.

"Don't say that, Ross, I-"

He backed away and sighed. Silence fell and they finally noticed some people were watching them. Whispering, some smiling, some aparently hoping for the best. Ross hated the feeling of being on a display.

"I gotta cool off"

He walked away.

Rachel locked herself in the bathroom and cried. This was silly... Nothing even really happened with Nick and she did love Ross very much.

'Ok, this is what you're gonna do... You're gonna fix your make up, you're gonna walk out and you're gonna get your man back' she thought to herself before beginning her task.

When she left the bathroom, her eyes searched for him. Not there.

She went into another room. Not there.

Every room of the house. Not there...

Tears found their way to her eyes again. She left the house in the direction of the lake. Some people were drinking, the sound was also on out there. Some even dared to go into the water and Rachel could tell most were skinny dipping. She didn't care. There was a nice and quiet spot to the side, it was dark and a bit more silent.

But before she could reach it, she noticed there was someone there already. Softly iluminated by the moonlight and minimal lightning that came from the party was Ross' figure. She smiled weakly and for a while just admired the handsome man he was. His white silky skin and the contrast it matched with his dark hair. His big gorgeous brown eyes and his lips. He had such nice lips...

Someone approached him. Rachel's heartbeat raced.

A while went by. It was much too dark for her to see who the girl was. She played with her hair. She looked at Ross straight into his eyes. She touched him.

"Bitch" Rachel mumbled as she realised who it was.

God, she was touching him too much.

She kissed him. Rachel opened her mouth, shocked.

He pushed her away.

There seemed to be a bit of an argument and after a while Mindy walked away. She walked by Rachel, but due the darkness she did not realise it.

"Faget!" Mindy cursed out of frustration.

Rachel sighed, gathering her emotions that had been spilled all over the place...

"Hey" she approached him.

"Hi" he said. His voice was numb. If anything, it was also sad.

"May I...?"

"Sure"

She sat with him, just on the same spot Mindy had taken. She nervously chuckled.

"Can you believe Mindy?"

Ross looked at her. He was dead serious.

"If you got something to say, Rachel, say it. I don't apreciate these little games, when you guys got these approaches and say these things that mean something that I'm supposed to know! Well, I don't, so why don't you just come out and say what you want??"

Rachel looked down. She was not used to being scolded, ever, by anyone. And the few times she had, she had yelled back. Eventually, she always got her ways.

Not this time though.

"I'm sorry"

She heard him sigh.

"I just..." she began. "I just wanna make it clear that nothing happened between Nick and me."

"Then why did you react that way when I told you Mindy had told me that?"

"Because I felt guilty"

"Why? If nothing happened, I don't see any reason why you would feel guilty"

Rachel shook her head.

"Because of the way I was treating you back then. You told me you loved me and I freaked out. And I was scared and I was gonna do something stupid, I was gonna hook up with Nick"

"Was it me that stopped you?"

"Well, yeah"

Ross looked down, thoughtful. He looked well absolved into his thoughts.

"Ross.. I love you"

He looked up at her, his eyes glistening.

"Don't, don't say this right now"

"But I do. I love you, Ross, I love you so much"

She came closer, but he backed away.

"Don't, don't say that just to get out of this!!"

She backed away, surprised.

"I'm not trying to get out of anything, Ross."

Silence followed. She looked down. Never had she been in such a complicated situation over something that never happened.

"What are you thinking?" she asked him.

"I'm thinking..." he looked at her. "how terrified I was that you would do something to me"

She reached for his hand and he didn't protest.

"And-" he continued "how it made me realise how this, what I feel for you, Rach... it shouldn't be this way. This can't be healthy"

"What?" she whispered.

"It's- it's imature, it's insecure, it's everything it shouldn't be"

"Ross, no, I-"

"Rach, I pushed everything aside just to be with you. I carelessly hurt Carol, we didn't care about Monica's feelings, I freaked out with Chandler because he kissed you many years ago! I- I'm scared you'll hook up with any guy you want because you can and I can't deal with how much I love you... I'm jealous of all the guys you've been with and all the guys who just want to! This is not me. It's not how it was supposed to be"

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying we're not ready"

"For what, Ross? It's not like we're getting married!"

"I know that, Rach! But what I feel for you still requires a commitment. And I'm just not sure we're prepared for it"

"So you're... you're breaking up with me?" tears rolled down her cheek.

Ross looked down to avoid seeing them. As he did so, a few escaped his own eyes.

"I'm afraid so"

Rachel threw her arms around him.

"Don't do this, Ross. Please. I need you. You've been everything to me these past couple of months"

"And why was it that you first wanted to be with me again?"

Rachel slowly let her arms slip down and away from him, defeated. She brushed her tears away.

"Ok, fine..." she whispered. "Happy new year to you too"

She walked away.

------------------------------------

Ok, this is not what I was hoping for, but it works. Not much to say here... I'm just on my way to begin a new fic. Yay. About comments on Jen and Brad... Well, thing is, I really-really-really don't enjoy fussing around famous people's life like that (it's much too disrespecting, in my opinion), so I'll regard myself the right to only say that I was shocked. I was out of town, so I just found out yesterday, Vero told me. The end. I don't know them and have no idea what happened - probably never will. But I still wish them well and hope things get better, whatever the hell that will be. Now... reviews?? ;)


	20. Chapter 19

And I Feel Home

by Tina

---------------------------

January 2nd. Rachel still hadn't found the will to get out of the house or even call anyone. In fact, she just left her bed in cases of extreme necessity. Her matress, pillows and blankets seemed to be the only source of understanding she had the last couple of days.

She was so lonely.

She tried so hard to understand his reasons to break up with her. She could see his point, but not accept it. Why couldn't they work things out together? They could work on their relationship, on themselves. Be more mature, grow up... together.

He hadn't called. That was news to her... She wanted to call but... what would she say? "Take me back, please"?

She rolled over and cried some more. It amused her how she still had tears left to cry. She couldn't help it.

What was he up to that moment? Was he suffering as much?

"Rachel, telephone!!!" her mother yelled out.

"Who is it?" it took all of her strengh to shout back. If she didn't have to know, she wouldn't have done it. She just couldn't stand Mindy's phonecalls anymore...

"It's Monica!"

Rachel moved closer to her nightstand and picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey Rach" Monica's voice was so friendly simpathetic.

"Hey"

"How are you?"

Rachel sighed and tears rolled down her cheek.

"Not great... You?"

"I- I'm okay"

"How's it going with Chandler?"

Rachel could just sense Monica's guilt for being happy.

"You know, it's going..."

"That's great for you, Mon"

"Thanks..."

A quick silence followed.

"He's a mess too, you know?"

Rachel couldn't help but sob.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, he's barely left his room since you broke up" Rachel stayed in silence, left alone with her tears. "Mind hm, mind if I ask what happened?"

Rachel painfully laughed through her tears.

"Hah, what happened? That's- that's a funny question, Monica..." she brushed her tears away. "Nothing happened. He just said we're not prepared for this and that his feelings for me are not mature enough, I don't know..."

"I'm so sorry, Rach..."

Rachel looked down.

"Yeah... me too."

Silence.

"Hey, I got something that might chear you up"

"What?"

"Mom and dad are not splitting up"

"Really? That's- that's great, Mon... What happened?"

"As it turns out, dad really was on a business trip"

Rachel chuckled.

"And your brother wouldn't believe me"

The memory of that night stung.

"Yeah, it was just that mom got mad because dad wouldn't be here for the Geller New Years party and she had to call it off and they just had a little fight... but then Chandler was here and his parents are divorced and he's all paranoid, you know?"

"So.. blame it on Chandler then?"

"Blame it on Chandler"

Silence fell again. Monica could hear Rachel's soft sobs.

"Hey... It's gonna be ok, Rach..."

------------------------------------------------

January 5th. Rachel parked her car in front of the Gellers' residense, ready to say goodbye to Monica.

"Hey, come in, I'll make you a sanduich"

"Ah, no, thanks, Monica, I'm just gonna go."

"He's not home"

"Still..."

"C'mon, I'll make it just the way you like it, with the 'moister' and everything"

Rachel smiled.

"My mouth surrenders me."

Monica smiled back.

As the girls exited the car, Rachel wondered. It was getting late...

"So... where's Ross?"

"He and Chandler are out with this friend of theirs from college. Gandalf is his nick name" Monica giggled.

Rachel remembered Ross' stories about his friend Gandalf and how much fun they had together. So that's what he was doing just five days after their break-up?

"Oh... nice"

They reached the door and Monica opened it.

"Mom, we're home!!"

They went into the kitchen and found Judy and Jack in there.

"Hey" Monica greeted her parents. They greeted her back.

"Goodnight" Rachel stood there, uncomfortable.

"Rachel, darling" Judy approached her "I was crushed when I heard about you and my son..."

Rachel held back the tears and just nodded.

"Mom!" Monica quietly scolded her.

Judy looked down from Rachel and walked away.

"Where is your brother?" she asked Monica, who started gathering the ingredients for Rachel's sanduich.

"Out with Chandler and that Gandalf guy"

"Who would name their child Gandalf??" Jack interrupted. Rachel couldn't help but smile.

"It's not his name, dad. It's his nickname, you know, from 'Lord of the Rings'. Aparently this guy likes to party a lot and the boys think of him as a party wizard or something, I don't know."

"My son is out partying with a boy named Gandalf?" Judy asked credulously.

"It's not his name!" Monica repeated, exasperatedly.

"Well kids, I'm off to bed now. You have a good night" Jack stated, getting up. "You coming up, Judy?"

"Yes. Goodnight, kids"

They all said their goodnights and Jack and Judy left. Rachel wandered around for a few more seconds before sitting down. She sighed. She looked at Monica. Despite the fact she was Ross' brother, Rachel knew she could tell Monica anything.

"I'm worried"

"Why?"

"Has Chandler ever told you about this Gandalf guy and the partying they do?"

"Not in details, why?"

"Believe it or not, they can get pretty wild...! Once they ended up on fishing boat to Nova Scotia"

"Really?"

"Yeah"

"Why didn't Chandler tell me?"

"Do you need an answer, really?"

"Oh, the bastard!"

Rachel couldn't help but chuckle.

"Hm, Mon... I know this may sound... pathetic, but... Could you... please... just call me when he gets home? Just wanna make sure he's okay"

Monica smiled at Rachel.

"Of course"

"Thanks"

-------------------------------------------

Sunday, January 7th. School was just about to start the next day for everyone. Ross, Chandler and Galdalf, who was also crashing with the Gellers for the weekend, were going back early that day. But Monica convinced them to stick around for longer. Ross didn't have enough strengh to fight the idea or even care about their relationship.

"Hey, Rach" Monica greeted her once again over the phone.

"Hey, Mon"

"Wanna come over?"

"Yes and no"

"You're gonna have to see him again eventually.."

"I know.."

"It's been a week. He's leaving in just a few hours, c'mon. You don't have to talk to him if you don't want to"

Rachel sighed.

"Yeah, ok, I'll be right over"

Ding-Dong.

Rachel was well expecting Monica to open the door. Instead, she almost froze at the sight of Ross.

"Oh, hey"

"Hi" she politely answered. "Hm, is Monica there?"

"Yeah, sure, come in"

"Thanks"

She walked by him.

"I think she's in the kitchen"

"Okay"

On her way there, she ran into an unknown guy. She startled.

"Scared ya?"

"Little bit"

The guy looked up at Ross.

"Not gonna introduce us?"

"Rach, this is Gandalf, Gandalf, this is Rachel"

"Oh, so you're the famous Rachel"

Rachel looked down and Ross sighed. He hated putting her in such position.

"Gandalf, cut it off"

"Fine"

Ross saw as Rachel made her way into the kitchen and then came back, lost.

"Not there?"

"No"

She leaned against the doorway and looked down at the floor. Slowly her eyes couldn't stand the urge to find his. They looked at each other for a while, silent.

"O-kay, as much as I enjoy this glorious tension, I'll leave you two alone" Gandalf said before he left.

Ross chuckled and Rachel took that as a good sign. She allowed herself to smile.

"Rach?"

"Yeah?"

"Can we... can we talk?"

She smiled a different smile.

"Sure"

-------------------------------------------------

I'm mean like that. But I'm on fire, so you should be expecting next chapter very soon! Reviews?? ;) 


	21. Chapter 20

And I Feel Home

by Tina

---------------------------

Rachel didn't bother asking if his parents were home as they made their way up to his room. Ross closed the door after them and Rachel hesitated whether she should sit down or not. She decided to stand at least untill she knew what this was about. She found herself more nervous than she'd ever been before when he turned around and faced her.

"So..."

"So..." she threw it back to him.

"I just... hm, sit down" she sat down on a chair he kept by his study and he sat down across from her on his bed. "I just thought it would be for the best if we got to talk about this now, Rach. The past few days made me think things through and cool off a bit"

"Yes?" she smiled, hopeful.

"I... I still mean what I said" her smile faded slowly. "Sort of"

"Oh"

"But I want us to talk about it, Rach. I mean... what we had... what we- what we have..." he looked at her for a while before continuing. "you bring up the most intense feelings I've ever felt in my life. Just... they're not usually all good."

"But Ross... I was thinking... we could uh work this out together. Couldn't we? We don't have to break up for this, do we?"

Ross looked down.

"I don't want to break up either, Rach. I love you. But the things I'm feeling right now... this possessiveness... it'll get worse and I'm going to hurt you. I need to work on this and earn you again"

Her heart melted. She wanted to tell him she was okay with his possessiveness, that she was his to claim anyway. But... she understood. It was eating him alive just like her feelings for him once did to her. Eventually it got better. While she took a break from him.

"We should... maybe we should just take a break" she offered.

"What?"

"We don't have to break up for good. If we just take a break, we can think things over, take our time to think without having to actually say goodbye. This just seems too sudden and, and..." her eyes glistened. "I don't wanna say goodbye to you"

Ross took her by surprise when he approached her, took her face on his hands and kissed her. She lost herself in that kiss, it was everything she'd been dreaming of since the break up.

When they parted, they looked at each other. He stroked her hair and she brushed her tears away.

"So.. what are you saying? I leave tomorrow and we just.. don't talk to each other?"

"Not unless you want to... Or have things figured out. I don't know. Even if this doesn't work out, Ross, we can at least say we tried. I love you too and I don't wanna throw this away"

"It could take a long time, Rach"

"I don't care"

"I don't wanna make you hold things back because of this"

"I'll wait, Ross, I don't care"

Ross smiled and kissed her deeply again. When it ended, he kissed her playfully a couple of times.

"You're stupid, you know that?"

She giggled.

"You're worth it"

They looked at each other, the tension fading.

"So... are you gonna tell me what happened when we first got together?"

Rachel looked down.

"What do you mean?"

"I know you, Rach"

She looked up at him. Honesty was the least she could offer that man.

"Ok... I... I think it's safe to say I stated going out with you for the wrong reasons" he looked at her interested. She looked back down to the floor, ashamed. "You know how much I love your family, right? I just... I wanted to be a part of it. One way or another." She looked back at him. "But I fell in love with you." she adoringly shrugged. "And now, honey, I just want you for who you are and that's it."

Ross nodded.

"I've always known if I ever had anything people would envy would be my family..."

"They're terrific..." Rachel said, carefully reaching out for his hand, testing the ground. He squeezed it.

"Thanks for the honesty"

"Are we ok?"

"I guess..."

They kissed again.

"So... now what?"

---------------------------------------

Rachel entered her house and threw the keys on a table. She sighed, a huge grin on her face. So life wasn't perfect... In fact, anything was far from being perfect, starting with her relationship with Ross. But she was hopeful. She somehow knew things would eventually work out.

They just needed time to do its job.

Urgh, for now... all she had to worry about was picking up her classes the next day. Damn... she sure didn't miss that.

When she entered the family room, her parents were there with an unknown woman. They rose as she entered.

"Hey" Rachel greeted them, confused.

"Rachel, darling, we've been waiting for you"

"What is it?"

"We've got a surprise for you"

"Good, I hope?"

"The best"

----------------------------------------

Another cliffhanger. Damn it, I'm mean. But I update quick, so you can't complain! lol! Reviews are love..!! :D lol, random... anyone here uses LiveJournal? I'm cristina there. Searching for more RR fan friends :P 


	22. Chapter 21

And I Feel Home

by Tina

------------------------------

Rachel sat in the family room for about an hour just listening. She couldn't believe her ears. She could almost swear she had entered a different house, this couldn't be happening to her. Part of her was thrilled with excitment. Part of her was scared. Little bits of other feelings sprinkled at the surface.

She looked at her parents and at the woman. Linda Johnson was her name.

Their lips had not stopped moving since she'd walked in. Their tone was so cheary, their smiles so inviting. They introduced images into her head, made her mind drift. Part of her felt guilty for it... But it was all so glamorous and so... her!

She smiled.

"...honey, and now that you and that boy broke up..." her mother reached out for her hand. "it just seems like the perfect opportunity. You've been so down lately and we thought you'd like to get away for a while."

"Thing is..." Rachel began. "we sort of got back together"

"Oh" her mother dropped her hand. "So what are you... Do you wanna go?"

Rachel took a while to think. As she did so, she looked at her father and the look on his face. She knew if she let an oppurtinity like that go because of a boy her dad would be too disapointed at her.

And to be quite honest... so would she.

-----------------------------

Rachel entered her bedroom and leaned back against the door. She sighed. What a long day...

She moved to her bed and looked at her picture frames. The one with Ross had been take away from its frame just the previous day. But it was still set on the bedside table. She'd stared at it all night.

'Back to where you belong' she mentally told the picture as she framed it again. She sadly smiled at it.

10:30 it was... He was probably ready to bed already. She never seemed to get over how cute his sleeping habits were. She loved those nerdy things about him. His strict rules to himself, the curfew he still followed, the air purifier, his sinuses...

'Never mind, must call him now'

She picked up the phone and dialed the number she knew by heart.

"Hello?" sure enough his voice was sleepy.

"Hey..." hey voice was almost a whisper, a soft and sweet whisper.

"Hey..." he answered just as sweetly.

"I know we're not really... supposed to call each other like that, but... something came up, Ross"

She heard him sit up in bed, worried.

"What is it? Are you okay?"

"I am, but..." she sighed. "I got home and... my parents were here with this woman and..." she didn't want to stall "to make things short, they wanna send me away to Paris for a while so I can study fashion and daddy managed to get me an innership at Prada"

"Wow"

"I know..."

A long silence followed.

"That's just what you want, isn't it?"

"But I... what about us, Ross?"

"I told you not to hold things back because of me, Rach. I'd never forgive myself if you stayed because of me." He closed his eyes and took all his strengh to say the next words "What if... what if it doesn't work out with us, huh?"

"We'll never know..."

"I just want the best for you, Rach. Believe me. I don't wanna lose you either. I don't think anyone out there cares about you as much as I do..." she cluthed the phone tighter. "Besides, I- I think we could use the time apart. And this will be so great for you, sweetie... Not just for your career, but for you as a person. Leaving your parents' house is a big deal and you're gonna learn so much"

"I guess..."

"You will"

Short silence followed.

"I love you.."

"I love you too. And I'm gonna miss you so much"

Rachel finally let a tear drop.

"I'm gonna miss you too"

-----------------------------------------

Tears rolled down Rachel's cheeks as she looked out the window. The clouds out there were so immaculate white, she could almost feel like she was five again and believed they were made of cotton. No, not a good time to feel like a child again. It was time to hold her head up and face her future. Grow up. Chase her dreams. Accomplish, nail them.

The plane was rather steady. She still had five hours to go. Five long hours which would probably be filled with the same thoughts that had been ruling her mind since she left.

Their goodbye - better yet, as they still insisted on calling it, the beginning of their "break" - was draining. She closed her eyes and relived it.

-

They hugged as tighter as they'd ever hugged before. She never wanted to let him go...

But she knew she had to.

Rachel sobbed.

But they decided to face this as something positive for them. They could use some time apart anyway. Both on their own, far away, dealing with their lives on the way to become adults. Ross would soon finish college and start working on his PhD. After she was done, she could come back and they could talk again, maybe?

She feared their paths would drift on the mean time. But it seemed like a risk they had to take. She didn't usually believe in destiny, but she'd left it all to the Gods of fate by then. 'If it's meant to be, it will be'.

They broke the hug with tears in their eyes. He brushed hers away and she smiled. He was so sweet. She'd definitely miss his touch the minute she turned around to board the plane.

"You take care" he mumbled.

"Right back at ya" she smiled after her soft words.

They kissed.

She'd usually feel embarassed to kiss like that in front of her family, but this time she had much more to care about. She'd said goodbye to everyone else who showed up at the airport already - her parents, his parents, her sisters, Monica and Chandler. Now it was Ross' time and she was not about to go easy, reprehend and supress her feelings just because of their presense.

They parted and looked at each other. Rachel leaned closer and rested her face tenderly to his neck.

"I'm gonna miss this"

"I know... me too"

"I love you" she whispered.

He stroked her back and held her tighter.

"I love you too"

He kissed her hair and the last announcement to her flight came on.

She relutanctly let go of him and sighed.

"So... See ya" she chuckled through the tears.

"See ya" he faintly said it back.

They kissed softly one more time and she left.

Rachel kept her stare down. She didn't dare to look back. The minute she saw his big brown eyes again she'd cave and decide to stay. She couldn't. She owed this to herself, to her family and... to him too. Yes, this was going to work. They had to go through this. They just... had to.

No matter what the future held for them, down the road.

--------------------------------------

Will you guys hunt me down and kick my ass if I say this is the last chapter? lol. We got an epilogue though...! So chill ;) But still. Oh well... Reviews?  
And stupid ffnet didn't let me post my LiveJournal screename right. I AM NOT cristina. My login name there is (underline)(underline)cris(underline)tina. It just won't let me post the underline character here!  
And btw, LiveJournal ) is a blogging site, sort of. Anyway..! 


	23. Epilogue

And I Feel Home

by Tina

-----------------------

For the last time, Rachel sat on the chair she'd called hers for a year now. She closed her laptop and sighed. Over the last five years she'd worked her way up in Prada and saying goodbye proved to be a much more difficult task then it seemed at first thought.

She looked around her private little "attelier". It wasn't too big, but it was charming and, well, hers. The vast wooden table was filled with papers, coloring pencils and crayons. On the walls were pinned up many sketches she had created. Rested against them were uncountable rolls of fabric and a huge wardrobe took over practly half of the room. Rachel turned around to get a good view. A model was up on a stool while one of Rachel's helpers worked on the adjustments she's just marked on the dress.

A smile came upon her face.

The oportunity to leave for Paris had definitely been the best one she had ever had in her life. For someone who collected bad decisions in her past, it had sure become a turning point. At 25, Rachel was a completely different person. She was a woman now. Independent from her parents, independent from so many things.

Yet, dependent on so many others. She picked up the framed picture that never left her side and stared at the man she was soon going to be vowing eternal love to.

She sighed and walked out to the balcony. The view was priviledged. The builting was located in a beautiful yet casual side of Paris and she could even see the Eiffel Tower from up there. She sighed and deeply inhailed the perfume of the flowers located everywhere her eyes could reach. It was hard to believe that sight was soon going to change.

"Hey, Rach?" the so familiar voice came from inside. Rachel turned around and toothly smiled at her visitor.

"Hey, stranger!"

They hugged tight.

"Not done saying goodbye yet?"

"It's hard..."

"As they said in your goodbye party, you'll be missed... But it's time to move on now. You're only being relocated anyway."

"I guess..." she smiled.

"It's what you want, isn't it?"

She smiled at him.

"More than anything"

"Now I gotta get outta here, I've got a lot to do before dinner tonight"

"Right, right..."

"I guess I'll see you later then. I just dropped by to say hello."

"Right... Thanks for dropping by, Nick"

He kissed her cheek.

"See ya"

"Oh hey" he stopped on the way to the doorway and looked at her. "Ross says 'don't be late'. He's just picking up his family at the airport and then they'll be right over"

Rachel nodded.

"I won't"

The simple thought of seeing them all again made her want to drop everything and walk away that very second.

Without looking back, just like she had done before.

-------------------------------

Dinner was casual, yet so classy. When it came to their families coming together, contradiction and diversity were always ever present adjectives. The Gellers and the Greens gathered together for dinner at a restaurant to celebrate Ross and Rachel's engagement, joined by a few friends.

Finally.

After three years of separation, one year of casual esporadic encounters and another one of serious long-distance relationship, they had finally judged themselves ready to take that kind of commitment.

He held her hand gently as he played with her engagement ring. She had her head rested against his chest and he held her from behind. The physical contact only portrayed half the intimacy they had developed over the years. So many stories to tell, good and bad. Memories to be savoured or just remembered for their lessons.

And they sure had learned.

As they heard their friends and family each make a little speech, they couldn't help but wonder about how perfect the timing was now. How right he'd been before to give them a break. Despite the fact they'd each grown into very different people, they were still, somehow, everything they loved about each other.

He was still the same old gooffy, sweet and caring geek she so much loved. Only now wiser and more mature. And she, well, Rachel was still his fantasy after all of those years. But... so much more than that, at the same time. She had the biggest heart he'd had the priviledge to know. He could see so much beyond her beauty. And she'd be forever thankful for him to that.

Their relationship was now anything but shallow.

As Chandler sat back down on his chair - a slight look of annoyance due Rachel's sister's Amy's loud comment in the middle of his speach about something to do with his tie - Ross and Rachel's atention was only lost for a second, which they used to glance at each other, but was quickly drawn back as Nick lightly hit his crystal glass with the tip of his knife.

"Excuse me, everyone." he rose. "I know I'm no best man here or anything, but I would just like to add something to that"

Rachel looked up at Nick with admiration in her eyes. Ross held her tighter, but not in a possessive way. It was more of a reassuring gesture, to validate that moment for himself and for her. They deserved that much.

"You..." he looked at Ross and Rachel and smiled. There was so much that smile could say. For all Ross and Rachel knew, Nick could have sat down that very moment and that would have already been a beautiful speach. "As much as I have to say to you, I just somehow can't help but think anything I say will be a re-run for you. You guys know how lucky you are, you have been through too much to ignore history and face the fact that this is it. And me wishing you guys all the luck, like you would need it...!" he trailled off. "Oh, alright, maybe just another chears with another round of good wishes from everyone won't kill you, right?"

They chuckled.

"So, OK, all the best for the happy couple"

Everybody cheered and Rachel silently thanked Nick with a look, while Ross nodded. Nick nodded back, sitting back down next to his wife.

"This is nice" Rachel softly commented.

Ross followed her eyes, scanning the room.

"Isn't it?"

She looked at him.

"I can't believe I'm going home tomorrow"

"Yeah. Home..." he repeated, as if the concept of Rachel's home was something rather magical. And he was about to hop into that wonderful journey with her.

She smiled at him and closed the distance between them, kissing his lips very lightly. He closed his eyes softly and just savored as her lips played with his, a routine that never lost its enchantment and never failed to lighten up his spirits.

"Hmm" she moaned quietly as she hugged him. "Ross?"

"Yeah?" he burried his face on her neck.

"You know what?"

"What?"

She sighed and smiled relieved, having realised something that was somehow so obvious all along.

"You're my home"

THE END

------------

OMG... Yes, that's the same last line from "The one to give". I need a new bash of creativity...! Anyway, I just HAD to finish this. I owe you guys that much and I couldn't stand seing this file on my HD anymore : That and, well, I miss writing. Very much. But I've been having many problems with my that lately. 1, there's no time. 2, there's no patience. 3, there's no creativity! I mean, I have ideas, but I haven't been able to develop them...! That and, well, I don't know...! I still love my sweeties (AKA Ross and Rachel), but I hate it how sometimes it seems I'm growing out of this. There are major weak times though, when I have to watch my DVDs and etc...! But... oh well, it's not the same (  
Plus, as I said, life's been busy. And that's good, only not for my writing. And as I said, I miss it. Ahh, I sound so silly writing this repeating the same old things! Let's just say I hope to write something new, but have no idea when it'll happen. I wanna write a crossover, am torn between 'The object of my affection' x 'Friends' (as much as it pains me to say, there would be no Rachel) or 'Sex and the city' x 'Friends'. haha. Those ideas plus another one soooort of like 'The one that could've been'. That one would involve a lot of my Psychology classes. Which would be cool. But I haven't been able to concentrate (  
OK, just please leave me a tiny review here and, hey, review whore I am I may get all excited to write more soon! Vacation's just around the corner and I'll have some time off before I go off "home" ;) So, who knows, eh? 


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